Had I not observed that Purblinde men have discoursed well of sight, and some without issue, excellently of Generation; I that was never master of any considerable garden, had not attempted on this subject. But the Earth is the Garden of Nature, and each fruitfull Country a Paradise...
    – Sir Thomas Browne. The Garden of Cyrus, 1658

The tendency of Nature is in the direction of the dominant activity of the Positive pole.
    – Three Initiates. The Kybalion: Hermetic Philosophy, 1912, p.156

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.
    – John Mayer. Rolling Stone Magazine, Feb., 2010

Simply by reading this sentence you have begun your return to living in Paradise full-time!
    – Bruce's Journal, 2008

    The virginal, childless goddess Gaia languishes in space, beautiful, fully formed and yet devoid of life, and lonely. Her longing for both companionship and children reaches into the starry cosmos and attracts to her the Star Prince, or Lord of the Sky, named Uranus. He descends to her untouched surface, accepts her invitation and impregnates Gaia with all the subsequent generations that will be born from her body.
    Almost immediately, she begins to give birth, and his promiscuous gaze wanders to other conquests. As Sky Fathers always do, Uranus soon begins to play the field, and he seeks other conquests. Gaia’s first children are her Beloved Monsters, the oldest primordial forces of Nature seen as giants, dragons and chimeras.
   
    The following generation is the group of elder gods we call Titans. They are not so monstrous and look more like their father in basic appearance, thus Uranus favors them.
    However Gaia loves all of her children, whether monstrous or fair. She will only favor any of them in order to restore balance if some are oppressed by others. So when Uranus banishes the Monsters to the dark underworld of Tartarus simply because he finds them hideous, Gaia complains to him. He promises that he will soon release her Beloved Monsters back into the surface world... only he never does.
   
    Thus Gaia helps her son Kronus, the eldest Titan, by giving him a stone sickle so that he can overthrow his father. Kronus has promised his mother Gaia that he will release her Beloved Monsters, whose unhappy struggles in Tartarus produce terrible earthquakes and violent volcanic eruptions on the surface. So Kronus tracks down his father, uses the sickle to emasculate him, and tosses his severed testicles into the ocean.
    The injured Uranus flees back to the Sky, his original realm, while the semen that gushes from his testicles into the ocean becomes the white frothy foam on the waves, where it engenders Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love appears naked and alluring, standing upright upon the foam, as she drifts to the shoreline.
    Though Gaia hopes that Kronus will be true to his word, he in turn fails to release her Beloved Monsters, so again in turn she covertly helps his eldest son, Zeus, to overthrow Kronus. Thus begins the rule of the Olympian gods – and it seems that Gaia’s troubles with her children have proven perennial...

    A tall, awe-inspiring figure moves through dappled light and shade of the forest floor, where he pauses, and then he moves onward again. The lean form ripples with muscle and he sports a huge erection that wobbles stiffly as he moves. His wide clear eyes on the bearded face drink in everything around him.
    This woodland god Pançika roams the Phallic Forest naked and aroused. His mere presence and the potency of his divine phallus inspires the growth of the vegetation on every side. Pançika wears nothing but a headdress with horns, which also connects him with the virility of male animals, such as the bull and the stag.
    In this primeval forest, all of the trees and green things that grow upward toward the Sun reflect the power of this phallic god, and in this way they all resemble erect penises. His divine phallus inspires not only the growth and form of the mighty trees, but every green and growing thing as well as phallus-shaped mushrooms.
    Humans who enter this woodland to ask for Pançika’s blessings of fertility and bliss are welcome so long as they respect his sacred realm and his Male Mysteries.
    In the Phallic Forest you find no stories of conflict or struggle, no drama beyond the natural cycles of growth and regeneration, feeding and predation, recycling and cooperation among various species.
    Pançika has the apparent form of a strong, virile, erect human male; however in reality he is a being of Nature itself, and serves the Great Mother of All Life.

    From the unseen and unknown below the surface of the watery Void where nothingness abides – full, rich and fertile with all potentials though nothing is yet expressed – something stirs in the depths. Similarly from below the surface of a pool, from its hidden roots a lotus bud pushes up on a slender green stalk until it reaches above the surface. A small, delicate green cone aims upward, perfectly balanced, as if seeking something, until the soft warm sunlight of the early morning touches it and the bud begins to open. Creation is as natural as any living process!
    A great mystery is the manner in which the lotus flower and the Sun God both come into being at the same moment, as if they create one another out of necessity.
    For this flower, that opens a glorious crown of delicate blue-violet petals the color of the cloudless sky, is actually a god called Nefertum. Lord of Fragrances! Handsome Young Phallic God of the Morning Sun! The Complete On Who Creates Himself – by a sacred act of physically loving himself, by pleasuring himself.
   
    The Egyptian Blue Lotus is actually both the phallus of the god and it is the Creator himself.
    The god and his phallus are One.
    As the petals open, from the golden, fragrant heart of Nefertum’s flowering is born the radiant Sun God Ra. In that mystical unity of early morning creative male energy, Nefertum and Ra are One. This is the first morning of Creation, and hereafter every morning the Handsome Young Phallic God of the Morning Sun is reborn.

    Return to the primordial Universe – newborn, bright and beautiful. Everything seems in perfect order so far, before any of the more complex stories have started to upset the balance. And yet to set things in motion, the balance must somehow be disrupted so that it can be restored. Thus two of the greatest gods begin to argue.
    “I AM the Creator,” Lord Brahma insists, “so of course, I was first! I made everything”. Vishnu smiles patiently. “However, as the Sustainer, the credit for this Creation belongs to me.
    If I did not maintain and preserve it, nothing that appears would continue to exist”.
    “What have you got to lose, if you admit that I was first, and that I created everything?”
    “Beloved Creator, admit it: I AM the Supreme Lord!”
    “No, no, beloved Brother, Sustainer though you are...” and thus their pointless contending continues, quite politely in fact, yet it distracts them from the business of helping the Universe to unfold like the bud of a lotus, as it had been designed to do.
    Suddenly a blazing white light appears, a pillar of blinding radiance that soars so high above and sinks so far below, that it appears truly limitless in extent!
    “Who are you?” both Brahma and Vishnu cry out in astonishment.
    “I AM the One you both claim to be,” a mighty male voice speaks from the pillar of white light.
    “The Limitless Light of Love and Truth. I AM all of these: the Supreme Lord, Creator, Sustainer, and Regenerator, the Cosmic Lingam of the Auspicious One, Lord Shiva, I AM”.
    Brahma says, “We are humbled, Great Lord!”
    “Lord,” Vishnu says, “we both bow down before your omnipotent splendor!” Brahma says, “However, we need to be absolutely sure that you are who and what you claim to be, before we can really surrender and totally honor you”.
    “See for yourself,” the great voice replies mildly. So Brahma changes himself into a swan and flies upward beating snowy wings, to seek the top of the Cosmic Holy Lingam; Vishnu becomes a turtle with a horny shell and paddles downward, seeking the bottom of the radiant pillar.
    Eventually the Brahma Swan enters a realm of celestial flowers that gently rain downward to broadcast the incredibly sweet fragrance of the Divine Nectar. Still, he finds no top to the Cosmic Shiva-lingam. Diving into the deepest depths of the abyss below, the Vishnu Turtle has no more success in finding a bottom to the radiant pillar, the pillar of limitless light.
    When they return and meet one another again, Sustainer and Creator beg one another’s forgiveness, and they fondly reconcile.
   
    The voice of Shiva from the Cosmic Holy Lingam says, “The truth is that all dualities, and even the Great Trinity of we Three Gods, exist only to remind us that in reality we are One. One in Three and Three in One”.

    Before the Egg of Time anything happens, nothing exists but a sort of liquid chaos of a void called Nu, swirling potential. A sort of no-thingness, rich with all potentials before anything actually else exists. The swirling nothingness of Nu is not so much emptiness, as a flux of limitless possibilities, in which anything is possible, yet so far, nothing has yet happened.
    Just as the waters subsided after the annual flood leaving of fertile black soil from
    Just as the receding waters after the annual high flood of the mighty Nile River subside and leave behind large mounds, rich deposits of fertile black soil washed downstream from the river’s distant headwaters in Africa, the heart of Africa, a mound appears amid the nothingness of Nu, the Lord of the Primordial Mound, Atum, emerges from Nu.
    This primordial mound is the first thing to appear from the nothingness. As the first Thing in a context of overwhelming no-thingness, Atum soon realizes that unless he does something to make himself more self-aware, more solid and substantial, more complete, he could easily dissolve back into the swirling void he cam from. Just as anything that persists in manifestation begins to acquire an identity, the mound continues to exist just long enough for some awareness to emerge: “I AM Atum,” he tells himself,
    “I AM the Complete One: Lord of the Primordial Mound”. Saying this in itself makes him more actual. With self-awareness he becomes a being.
    His self-image grows more solid with each breath, with each beat of his heart, and he recognizes himself to have the ka, or sacred appearance, of a kingly man. He stands atop the mound that lifts like a small, dark island from the surrounding flux of Nu. He realizes that though he is complete, he stands alone.
    Atum grows in awareness of himself, his form, his place, and his situation. “I AM, the Complete One, Atum,” he says. “That I AM becoming. I AM the first and only thing in the midst of all this nothingness. However, unless I grow more solid and certain of my own existence, my own tangible reality, I could easily dissolve back into that fluid chaos of Nu from which I emerged. How can I make myself more real, more definite, happier and more balanced? To increase my confidence and awareness of myself will help me to continue my existence here!”
    With both hands, Atum feels his own body, which begins to reassure him and increases his self-awareness. This also feels good, and he becomes aware of wonderful sensations from between his legs. His hands discover that tingling male organ of regeneration engorged with blood, standing stiff and asking to be touched.
    Thus he joins his hand with his phallus, begins masturbating, and the pleasure he gives himself sustains and protects him. As he begins to stroke his ultra-sensitive erection, the pleasurable sensations spread up his spine, and his heart opens like a lotus blossom in the growing light of a new morning. He continues to masturbate simply because he loves the sensations; his pleasure increases to bliss and then becomes ecstasy. The sensations climb to his head and fill his limbs. Rather than dissolving, he grows stronger and more substantial. His entire body grows radiant with an indescribable glory.

    “This is the best and most natural way to maintain my own happy, balanced existence as the Lord of the Primordial Mound, the Complete One, in the face of the chaotic forces of Nu that could sweep me away and dissolve my parts”.
    No one can say how long Atum continues his joyful masturbation standing upon the mound, before he approaches his first climax. Whatever the length of the measureless interval, eventually he can feel that something tremendously important and exciting is about to happen.
    Eventually, Atum (whose name means The Complete One in ancient Egyptian!) comes to the point of his first ejaculation. Somehow he knows that at this moment, he literally holds an infinite creative power in his hands. Gazing down upon the glory of the engorged phallus that he holds, he follows his instinct. Atum rolls onto his back, throws his legs up over his head, flexes his spine as far as he can and takes the head of his penis into his mouth. This feels so incredibly fine that it tips the scales.
   
    His ejaculation is powerful and copious. Actually, he catches the spurts of semen in his mouth, so perhaps he is flexible enough to actually suck himself to climax. His mouth is so full that he he nearly chokes on his own semen: he coughs twice, and expels from his lips the first god and goddess.
    The first cough producing Shu and the second becoming Tefnut. Shu, the Lord of Air, and his sister Tefnut, the Lady of Mist, appear. So the primordial elements of the world begin emerging from Atum's original, creative act of self-love and self-pleasure and self-sustaining.
    With great wonderment and joy, Atum kneels and embraces his children, who already grow rapidly as young primordial gods do. “My beautiful son and daughter,” he greets them, “you have emerged from my love for myself. I AM your father, Lord of the Primordial Mound, the Complete One, Atum, I AM.
    “All that I want for you is your happiness and safety. So please take heed: stay away from the edge of the mound, or else you might be swept away into the void of Nu, from which this mound has emerged!”
    Shu and Tefnut fondly embrace and kiss their father Atum, however being very young, like most children they are curious and love to explore their world. All too soon they disobey Atum; they go close to the edge of the mound, and they dip their toes into Nu. Nothing terrible happens, so they dive in for a swim. A wave of chaos surges and sweeps them away
   
    When Atum sees what has happened, he feels his heart shrivel in his chest, like a pinecone grown dry and brittle on the branch of a tree. “Oh, what can I do to find my children and bring them back to me safely?” He clutches his brow. “If I venture into Nu myself, most likely I’ll be lost or dissolved, and the whole story will end!”
    As the story continues, Atum continues masturbating and more aspects of the world emerge. From his brow, his Wisdom Eye speaks, “Send me out like a ship sailing into Nu, and I will find your lost children and bring them back to you”.
    Atum brings his hand down from his brow, and the Wisdom Eye floats before him, like a ship made of glowing violet light. “Would you do that for me?”
    “Of course,” the Eye of Wisdom says, “only you must stay here and be safe”.
    “Thank you, I will remain”. So the Wisdom Eye of Atum sails off into the liquid chaos of Nu and vanishes from sight. The Lord of the Primordial Mound stays there and keeps himself balanced and happy by masturbating, though eventually he begins to forget about his children and the Eye. In fact, he replaces the Eye with two new ones, putting in his face the Sun and the Moon to light the darkness of the void. His right eye is the Sun, and his left eye is the Moon.
    Eventually the Wisdom Eye reappears from Nu and brings Atum’s children Shu and Tefnut safely back to him.
    Atum receives them with open arms; he embraces them both and weeps for joy. His children, who have been lost and afraid, are every bit as happy to be reunited with their father. However in their familial joy, they all forget one thing. The Wisdom Eye hovers nearby, feeling forgotten.
    “Oh, there you are,” Atum says, as he wipes his tears of joy and sees it. “No, I have not forgotten you, and I will never forget the wondrous thing you have done for me! This creation almost ended, but you have saved the day, so it may continue”.
    He beckons, and the Eye glides closer; it hovers above his open hands. “In order to thank you, and to always remember what you have done, let me give you a place of honor, above the new eyes that I put in my face”.
    So Atum places the Wisdom Eye back upon the middle of his brow and there it remains today. Still the story of this creation is only beginning. The young gods Shu and Tefnut become the parents of the next generation. Their children are Geb the Lord of Earth, and Nut the Lady of Sky. Thus is established the Below and Above of this world.
    As the Lord of Air, Shu realizes that this new son and daughter will probably repeat the same thing that their parents did and reproduce. He decides that perhaps the lineage would benefit from diversity. So Shu arranges the marriage of his daughter Nut to the primordial Sun God Ra.
    However, as Geb, the Lord of Earth stretches below the Lady of Sky above him, he gazes upward at her beauty with longing and desire, and his penis grows erect. As the Sun God, Ra only can keep an eye upon his young bride in the daytime. During the daytime, the Lady of Sky wears the chaste blue garb of the faithful wife of Ra.
    However, with each nightfall, Nut sheds that blue robe and became Nuit, the Lady of Stars, and the Queen of Infinite Space. In this form, she spreads her starry wings and descends upon her brother, Geb. He lies stretched out on his back, fully aroused, his phallus aimed upward and ready for her to mount him.
    The Moon God, whose home is in the left side of the face of Atum, sees what is happening. He tells their father Shu, who goes immediately to where his children lie, coupled in their nightly bliss.
    Instead of saying anything to them, Shu simply takes hold of his daughter Nut, in her starry form of Nuit, and with both arms raises her back up to her place high above.
   
    His son Geb remains startled and stunned, his erection still vertical, only now it is revealed.
    That revelation inspires the Egyptian obelisk, the axis of the world that still connects the Below with the Above.
   
    Though her father Shu, as Lord of Air, keeps his daughter the Sky in place above her brother the Earth below, as happens with primal deities, she has already conceived multiple offspring.
    Her children are the generations of the Great Gods of Egypt and their children.
    Still, as the root cause of all this burgeoning diversity, the family tree of the Egyptian Gods, the God of Origin, Atum persists.
    The Lord of the Primordial Mound, the Complete One stands to this day, pleasuring himself in order to maintain the integrity and the forms of the whole of Creation that emerges from his self-love. His ecstasy sustains the structural unity of deities, human beings, and the Universe as a whole.
    His constant self-pleasure keeps his Wisdom Eye open and thus he watches over all and maintains the cosmic order of everything.

    In a great forest lives a small community of hermits practicing the most challenging austerities and fire sacrifices. At this hermitage reside many great scholars and wise holy men along with their wives. However much of their attention has become occupied with matters of ritual, such as the precise manner of performing the fire sacrifices, and the cleansing rituals of virtuous bathing, how to eat reverently, marathon chanting and prolonged meditations.
    In the role of a mendicant, Shiva the Mountain God and Lord of Yogis, wanders the woodlands naked, fasting, meditating all the time and performing the strictest austerities. These practices have bestowed upon him special abilities, plus he even manifests siddhis, or miraculous powers over the material plane. He has no possessions, though a tiger of the forest has deeded to him its skin. The devoted creature has volunteered to become a rug, asking that when it dies naturally it should be skinned and its hide tanned for Shiva’s use.
    Shiva also haunts cemeteries and the crematoriums along the riversides where the dead are burned upon pyres. He smears himself with ashes from the pyres in order to keep himself mindful of human mortality, as well as for protection from the abundant insects of the forests and river valleys. So in this role of a mendicant, to beg for his food, he approaches the saintly hermits of this particular forest retreat.
    He arrives at their gate holding in both hands a human skull, while his penis stands at full erection from between his thighs, a combination of attributes that has a most curious influence upon his hosts and their family members.
    They see an incredibly beautiful young man, naked and with uncut hair bound up in a topknot, his elegant mustaches and beard unshaven, handsome and strong, he is smeared with ash from head-to-toes. His aura radiates the vivid rays of his spiritual power; an uncanny light flickers from his eyes. This young holy man exerts an almost irresistible attraction to both the male hermits, and also to their virtuous wives.
    To the dismay of the sages, their usually dignified wives and daughters rush out upon sight of the dazzling visitor immediately after his arrival within the compound. The women run to Shiva with offerings, they toss garlands of fragrant flowers around his neck, and hold bowls of ripe, luscious fruit before his face. The women lose all their customary social graces and restraint, as they cluster around the young man, like fish swarming to a handful of breadcrumbs thrown onto the surface of a pool. They take hold of his hands, and plead for him to attend them, to come with them.
    As he stands among them with a slight smile, yet unresponsive to their entreaties and grasping hands, the women begin to divest themselves of their jewelry. They throw away their finger rings, nose rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces and ankle bangles. They unbind their hair, unwind their garments from their bodies, and surround him as an encircling group of naked, pleading and giggling women.
    At first the group of hermits simply stands at a distance, frozen and open-mouthed in disbelief. They have spent many years, sometimes a long lifetime of challenging austerities and rituals, and yet they have not attained special powers, which the remarkable aura of Shiva makes obvious that he possesses!
    The oldest sage, their leader by default, steps forward: “What is your name?” he demands. Shiva greets this demand with silent bemusement, only a slight smile appears upon his exquisite face. This lack of response, along with their insane jealousy infuriates the holy men, who converge as a mob. They fling aside their women and seize Shiva. As some hold him captive – though in fact he does not resist – one among them lunges forward with a knife and cuts off his erect penis.
    Shiva does not react visibly to this terrible mutilation, any more than he did to the desperate lust of the women, the leader’s question, or the many male hands that hold him fast. Rather, he simply regards them calmly, still smiling slightly, and then closes his two eyes. At that moment the vertical third eyelid upon the middle of his brow opens and a brilliant light shines forth from his Third Eye. Then he opens the first two so that all three eyes are open wide.
    When the horrified assailant drops the severed male organ of Shiva to the ground, it lands upright, and immediately expands to enormous proportions, to connect the Earth with the Sky.
    “My goodness,” cries the oldest hermit, their leader, “this young yogi is actually a mighty god! He must be one of the major deities, come to us in human form, to test our ability to recognize him! The only effective penance we can do now is to honor this Holy Lingam”.
   
    Thus the veneration of the male organ of Shiva comes into being. As the sages begin to worship the Holy Lingam, their virtuous women regain their composure and modesty, and remember their roles as wives and mothers and daughters to the men.
    “In this manner,” Shiva tells them, “you have learned the limitations of reason and propriety. Rapturous abandon is a more natural and powerful path to the Divine than is denial and celibacy. Experience the mystical bliss in which the Lover and the Beloved are One, in which the separate sense of self dissolves in Oneness with the Great Supreme Self. You do not need to perform this Holy Lingam ritual with any other partner but the Supreme Self. Thus the droplet of ecstatic nectar returns to the Ocean of Bliss that is its origin, the reality of Oneness. Forget yourself to remember your own Divine Nature”.
    While the inhabitants of the hermitage institute these new practices to honor the Holy Lingam and engage in the Tantric Arts of Love, Shiva remains among them for a short while. They discover that in fact, the violent act has not actually been able to mutilate Shiva’s divine form. He remains whole after all – that awful episode only allowed him to teach them.
    He also teaches them the virtues of his favorite beverage, bhang, as a divine elixir. “As Soma is the drink for the Gods,” he says, “this bhang provides mortal humans with a pleasurable experience of mystical rapture that will always remind you of my presence, even when I am gone from among you. In this rapture you will forget your conscious, limited human self and in ecstatic trance discover your spiritual nature as an incarnation of the Divine. Use it wisely”.
    Shiva squats in the yard, to grind the potent hemp with a huge mortar and pestle braced between his legs. He instructs the hermits in how to brew a refreshing elixir of the fragrant and intoxicating herb. Then he picks up again the human skull that he often carries on his wanderings.
    As he promised, after he leaves them, whenever the hermits drink the bhang, with blissful attention focused upon the Shiva-lingam, they still feel the presence among them of Shiva, the Lord of Yogis, and the Lord of the Dance, the Auspicious One.

    Shiva has for measureless times defended the heavenly abode of the Gods from the evil Demons of the Netherworld that constantly seek to invade and take their celestial home from the Gods, in order to live there themselves. Only the greatest of divine warriors, Shiva with his trident, his drum of war, and his conch to sound his victories, has successfully defended that realm for eons.
    However, Shiva has fallen in love with a mortal woman, and when inevitably she dies, in his grief he retires from defending Heaven into a cave on the side of Mount Kailash. There he leaves behind all worldly pleasures to study the scriptures and to meditate. Meanwhile those pesky Demons invade yet again; this time they manage to drive the Gods from their heavenly palaces.
    The Great Divine Mother – who like Isis, her Egyptian equivalent, is the Living Soul or animating force of the Universe, bringer of skill, love, potency and wisdom – sees with great concern what has happened. On a high spiritual level, she is the life-force energy of Lord Shiva, activated by the ongoing spiritual union of his Holy Lingam with her universal expression as the Cosmic Womb. However, in the material world of duality and diversity she has never actually met him in person.
    Shiva has grown immeasurably in his spiritual powers, among them his detachment from cause and effect, good and evil, and all dualities. In his state of Oneness with All Things, he thus remains unconcerned that the Demons have conquered Heaven and driven out the gods.
    The Gods approach The Great Divine Mother for her help. “Please intercede with Shiva and ask him to help us!” they plead.
    “You know that Shiva will no longer fight for you,” she responds. “He has evolved too far above and beyond such dualistic concerns”.
    “So what can we do, Great Divine Mother?”
    “Only a Son of Shiva will be able to drive the Netherworld Demons out, so that you can return to your proper place in the cosmic order. However, Shiva is so aware of the nature of suffering in the world, he refuses to engender any children, for that would cause more suffering”.
    “Is there anything you can do?”
    The Great Divine Mother promises, “I will do my best”. Thus she takes birth as a lovely maiden named Daughter of the Mountains, the first child of the Holy Himalayas. Daughter of the Mountains goes to the cave where Shiva performs the strictest austerities of a solitary hermit. Upon sight of him seated cross-legged on a tiger-skin, naked with his three eyes closed, she instantly falls in love.
    Daily she visits his cave to sweep the floor, and to scatter fragrant blossoms there, to seek his attention and favor. The gloriously beautiful and infinitely aloof hermit of Mount Kailash treats her with absolute kindness and gentle politeness – and also strict indifference. He already has one devotee, who acts as a manservant to do for him what his Lord is too withdrawn and unworldly to be concerned about.
    Daughter of the Mountains hatches a plot, and makes the manservant promise to guard Shiva’s sleeping pallet so that he will definitely remain chaste and not be bothered by visitors who might be attracted sexually to his beauty. Feeling that his chastity is protected until she herself has a chance to seduce him, Daughter of the Mountains departs into the rugged ranges to perform her own austerities. She seeks the equivalent for herself of the powers that he has attained.
    Meanwhile a demon has spied upon her while she spoke with Shiva’s manservant, so after she has been gone for a while, the demon uses its powers and transforms itself into a perfect image of Daughter of the Mountains.
    Except that the demon has lined its vagina with deadly nails. Though the manservant is fooled as well and Shiva receives the false Daughter of the Mountains just as graciously and with the same detachment he has always extended to the real Daughter of the Mountains, this one fools even him. Or perhaps he merely allows it to enter and believe it has succeeded in seducing him.
    “She” flirts and dances for him while she undresses. His eyes open and he watches her. At last with a slight roll of his eyes, he beckons her. When the disguised demon mounts his lap to perform a sacred yab-yum of Tantric copulation with him, as his erection begins to penetrate the vagina lined with nails, he turns his penis into a sword.
    The demon impales itself and dies. When Daughter of the Mountains hears of this, she flies into a rage, turns herself into a lion and races to the cave, where her glance of anger turns the manservant into a stone statue. Still, rather than proceed into the inner cave where Shiva is, she returns to the forest where she has been living.
    There she lives naked, she fasts and she meditates all the time. Soon her abilities increase manyfold and she develops yogic powers and siddhis similar to Shiva’s. The energy around her becomes so powerful, that it attracts the attention of Brahma the Creator, who looks upon her with wonder and favor.
    “What can I do for you, my lovely child?” Brahma says kindly.
    “I’ve done all I can to attract the love of the Mountain God,” she replies, “and I’ve even taken a path like his. I’ve become a solitary hermit; I’ve done extreme austerities and attained some powers. Still, he remains aloof, and as you know, the Gods are still exiled from their heavenly homes, where the vile race of Demons has taken possession”.
    “Tell me whatever you want, and I will grant it”.
    “Perhaps it is my dark skin, Lord Father of Creation! Can you change my dark skin into a beautiful golden color like honey that glows in the sunlight of happiness?”
    “Granted,” the Creator says and smiles. “Only I’ll have to split you in two to do this properly, so there will be a darker version of you and a lighter one”.
    “Whatever it takes,” she says, without really considering the full consequences. So Lord Brahma raises his hands in blessing and makes it so: the dark half of Daughter of the Mountains becomes She Who Destroys, the fearsome Mother of Time and Transformation called Kali, who cuts off the heads of men to awaken them spiritually from their illusions.
    The brighter half of Daughter of the Mountains now has skin so luminous it shines like golden sunlight.
    Shiva awakes from his self-induced trance of indifference upon sight of the newly radiant Daughter of the Mountains. “You are just the kind of perfectly beautiful and virtuous woman I would like to marry someday,” he says.
    “Therefore,” she says, “you might as well marry me now!”

    As he used to do before his marriage, the Lord of Yogis still often withdraws into the solitude of his cave to meditate, or he wanders in the Phallic Forest Primeval, naked and alone.
    He offers Daughter of the Mountains, in what she takes as an insult, a rag-doll and tells her to hold and cuddle it instead of seeking to have a baby of her own. “I will not let my husband’s absence get in my way,” she decides. So Daughter of the Mountains rubs unguent oil into her thigh, scrapes off the resulting film, rolls it into a mass and molds it into her child. Thus she immaculately conceives her son and brings him to life as she breathes her own powers into him.
    He is a beautiful young man every bit as handsome, strong and virile as Shiva. Daughter of the Mountains names her new child and companion Ganesh, “Remover of Obstacles, and Lord of New Beginnings”. She educates him to act as a scribe, teaches him everything she knows, and assigns him as the guard of her own bedchamber door to keep out strangers who might be attracted to her irresistible beauty and try to seek her favors. Thus he is also called “Guardian of the Threshold”.
    Meanwhile her husband meditates and it comes to him that perhaps he should not be so neglectful of his beloved wife, so with the intention to apologize, he returns. He has no idea who the new guard at her threshold is. When Ganesh – similarly unaware of who the handsome naked yogi is – bars his way, Shiva flies into a rage and beheads the young man.
    Daughter of the Mountains rushes forth from her chamber. When she sees what has happened, she screams, and backs away from Shiva. “Until you fix this, and give him a new head,” she says, “I refuse to see you again!”
    The Mountain God bows deeply. “My humblest apologies, beloved wife”. The original head of Ganesh had already rolled away across the floor and down the mountainside where a tiger ate it. So Shiva sends his followers out, to look for a new head. They return eventually with the beautiful head of a baby elephant, which Shiva successfully attaches to the decapitated, yet living body of Ganesh.
    In this manner the Lord of Yogis and his wife Daughter of the Mountains, with their child Ganesh become a happy family. Though Shiva is his stepfather, the two become as close as an actual son and father can be, despite their unfortunate first introduction.
    Finally, as they live together in harmony, Daughter of the Mountains encourages Shiva to accept worldly pleasures as part of his spiritual path. She thaws his detached heart with her warmth and pure-hearted sensuality.
    Ganesh is given the titles of Guardian of the Threshold, Patron of New Beginnings, and Remover of Obstacles to Happiness. The Mountain God adds patronage of the arts to his own repertoire of concerns, and the sympathetic nature of Daughter of the Mountains also stirs his concern for suffering in the world.
    His stepson, whose elephant trunk suggests a flexible and prehensile phallus, has a gentler, more approachable and appealing quality than his sometimes stern and intimidating foster-father. Shiva still haunts the cremation grounds and cemeteries at times, to meditate upon mortality and the grief of survivors. He gives Ganesh one of the graveyard rats – a symbol of wisdom – to ride upon.
    This new stepson becomes the leader of Shiva’s spiritual army of followers, sometimes seen as Nature Spirits, which is why Ganesh is also called Lord of Hosts.
    The Mountain God’s supreme symbol, however, remains the Shiva-lingam, the image of his phallus, which is also the axis of the world.

    Daughter of the Mountains’ consistent and pure-hearted adoration, plus her powers as the Great Divine Mother, the Soul of the Universe and Cosmic Energy, has won over the heart of Shiva, Divine Consciousness. During their prolonged and sacred Tantric lovemaking the dualistic nature of manifestation collapses back into the Oneness of Source. Shiva practices semen retention, meaning that he does not ejaculate, instead he keeps the erotic energy in his body; he does this for two reasons, to cultivate ever-higher erotic energy, and also to avoid conceiving a child that he feels will only add to the suffering in the world.

    However his new bride has her own agenda. She feels a strong maternal instinct to conceive a child by her husband. As Shiva’s erotic energy circulates down the front of his body and back up his spine, this generates the Divine Nectar within his brain so that his head begins to emanate a rainbow nimbus. The Lady takes a small piece of Shiva’s aura from the crown of his head within the topknot of his hair, a rainbow seed of his spiritual essence.
    This bit of a rainbow she sends to the exiled Gods, who bestow it upon the river goddess named Ganga. Ganga cools the radiant rainbow seed in her icy waters until it forms a Mountain God seed. This seed she takes in her hands and reverently carries it to the Phallic Forest Primeval, where she plants it with devotion in the fertile detritus of the forest floor. In this place, anything planted will grow.
    From the seed sprouts a virile new, young form of Shiva, named Skanda. This beautiful young god named Skanda, who is also a lover of his fellow men, raises a great army of followers, storms the heavenly realm, drives out the Demons, and restores the Gods to their rightful homes. The Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great is also said to be an incarnation of Skanda.
    Now, Daughter of the Mountains has managed to live up to her promise to the Gods. She is also transformed from a swarthy maiden to a golden goddess with the radiance of sunshine, plus her scheming has brought about the birth of the new young phallic god Skanda. He becomes the god of conflict resolution, the patron of male homosexuals, and the guardian of the gates of the heavenly realm.
    However the one thing she has not succeeded in is to win the full-time husbandly devotion of Shiva. Plus she feels the strong urge many married women do to become a mother herself, however the God of Mount Kailash refuses. Though he is happy to engage in limitless amounts of Tantric coupling with her, for they embody the dynamic of plus (+) and minus (–) polarities in the cosmic order, Shiva tells her all along that to conceive a child of his loins would only add suffering to the world.

    Long, long ages in the past, after the Mountain God has become the Lord of Yogis, he practices semen retention, that is regardless of whether or not he engages in erotic activity, he controls himself from ejaculating.
    Of course because of who he is, Shiva’s seed will always create something or conceive a child on those rare occasions when he spills it.
    In order to continue to develop his Tantric practice, Shiva allows Agni, the God of Fire, to perform fellatio upon him for prolonged periods, and it becomes a contest between his own erotic self-regulation and the ability of the God of Fire to perform exquisite oral stimulation of Shiva’s sacred phallus.
    Finally, in this case Agni triumphs, or Shiva simply decides to surrender to the ejaculatory orgasm he so seldom experiences. His seed spurts heroically into the God of Fire’s mouth and is swallowed. Immediately in the God of Fire’s belly a child is conceived. As these are all deities, within moments Shiva’s first son, Skanda is born from the God of Fire.
    Due to his conception by two male gods, the newborn godling becomes patron of male homosexuals and he is given the job of guarding the gates into the heavenly realm.
    In his honor, the great sages of later times sometimes perform a fire sacrifice in which they ejaculate into their sacred fire.

    Another crisis arises when the Demons steal the jar that contains the elixir upon which the extended lives of the Gods depends. Both the Gods and the Demons are actually beings called demi-gods, only long-lived rather than truly immortal, unless they drink Divine Nectar, which can extend their lives indefinitely.
    The Moon God, who is able to transform ordinary pleasure into Divine Bliss, creates the Divine Nectar. Whenever he fills a jar with the elixir, he provides it to the Gods, who are willing to generously share some of it with the Demons. However it is well known that the Demons, should they possess the Divine Nectar would not share it but would keep it all for themselves. This is why the Moon God gives it to the Gods to be fairly shared among all the demi-gods.
    On a certain occasion the Demons manage to steal the jar of Divine Nectar from the Moon God just as he is about to deliver it to the Gods. Vishnu the Lord Sustainer understands all possible strategies to maintain and preserve the creative processes of the Universe, so he employs a brilliant strategy.
    On this occasion Vishnu assumes an exquisite female form called “Enchanted One”. She appears as a classically gorgeous woman with fragrant jasmine blossoms in her hair. Enchanted One arrives mysteriously before the Demon stronghold, where she dances slowly along the front porch before the gates. The music of her ankle bells indeed enchants and enthralls any male heart, regardless of who he might be!
    The Demon King and his followers, lustful creatures always avidly seeking the loveliest females, watch Enchanted One with huge eyes, and they fall totally under her spell. In this manner Vishnu distracts the Lord of Demons and his minions in order to retrieve the Divine Nectar. The Demons are blinded by lust – totally dazzled and entranced by Enchanted One. “She” has them wrapped around her little finger.
    Enchanted One easily persuades the Demon King to allow her to dispense the Divine Nectar.
    “I’ll be fair in how I distribute it,” she says, “as none of you can be expected to be impartial, not even you, Great Lord!” The Demon King nods and smiles and hands over the jar.
    Vishnu calls his Solar Eagle, who flies down and carries him back to the top of Mount Meru, where Vishnu returns the Divine Nectar to the Gods.
    Shiva does not happen to be present when Vishnu in the female form of Enchanted One accomplishes this most beneficial and skillful act of deception to preserve the cosmic order.
    However the Lord of Yogis hears of this charming exploit from a wandering sage who often visits the Lord and Lady of the Mountains. So with his wife, Daughter of the Mountains, Shiva goes to visit the Lord Sustainer.
    He appears, holding his trident, smiling radiantly in his handsome, virile splendor. “I’ve witnessed your wondrous powers, O Sustainer. Only I have not seen the famous Enchanted One, your lovely female form, this latest strategy to keep universal balance and harmony in place. If the Demons had kept the Divine Nectar, they alone would have lived longer and the Gods would have aged and perished, like mortals. However, as always, you saved the day!”
    Daughter of the Mountains smiles. “Yes, beloved and Supreme Lord Sustainer, and Dreamer of Universes, whose couch is the Cosmic Serpent!” She praises him sincerely, with both hands pressed together before her luscious breasts. “Please, Lord Vishnu, we are most curious to see this beautiful female aspect of you, that has saved the day! Grant us, we pray, this boon to see you as Enchanted One”.
    “Please,” Shiva says, “I am most eager and curious to see her”. The Sustainer smiles serenely upon his honored visitors. “Oh best of the Gods, Shiva, Lord of the Mountain, how can I refuse you, who are part of me? After I returned the Divine Nectar to the Gods and they all drank of it, one of the Demons disguised himself as a God, and tried to also drink. The Sun God told me of this, just as he began to drink, so I threw my Divine Discus, which cut off his head. Only his head by itself became immortal!”
    “Yes, that immortal head still flies around!” Shiva says. “I have seen it passing across the sky like a comet”.
    Again the Sustainer bestows a dreamy smile. “Now, because you have asked, I will show you this beautiful form I assumed, that arouses the desire of men, and which they value most highly”. With these words, he vanishes from the sight of the Lord of the Mountains and his wife.
    The divine couple remains where they are, looking all around them in every direction. Then Shiva spies a glorious garden, lush and green with many trees having red leaves and colorful flowers that bloom everywhere. Bees buzz and floral fragrances drift on the breeze... and there he sees a most exquisitely beautiful woman!
    An enchanting woman stands playing with a ball. She tosses it into the air and throws it here and there. She chases it playfully and continues her play in the garden. She seems totally absorbed in the innocence of her game. Her bare breasts dance with her graceful motions, and then her shy gaze looks up, to meet Shiva’s enraptured gaze directly.
    Shiva totally forgets his entire entourage, plus the fact that his wife stands beside him. The lovely woman in the garden again tosses the ball, which bounces and rolls from sight. As she begins to follow it, on a gust of breeze the skirt that is her only garment falls from her waist as she moves.
    Shiva’s heart is full of nothing but her.
    He grows aroused and loses his mind. Oblivious to his companions, he rushes forward into the garden, full of desire for her. He loses all common sense and shame.
    Naked as the breeze has rendered her, the woman acts shy and a bit evasive. She flees his advancing steps and hides herself behind a tree, though she does not stay there, aware that otherwise he will catch her immediately. Rather, she keeps moving, and he follows her as persistently as a bull elephant follows an elephant cow when they are in heat. He catches her in his arms, pulls her hair and holds her body to his own, and thrusts his hips against her.
    She only laughs, like chiming bells, and pushes him away.
    As Enchanted One, the illusory female form created by Vishnu, escapes his arms, Shiva spills his semen and runs after her, still fully aroused. Hi seed, which cannot fail to create, continues to spill as he runs like a wild male elephant. At each place the droplets fall, great golden Shivalingams spring up!
    He continues to pursue Enchanted One over rivers, and lakes, and mountains, forests and gardens, and where the great sages live, creating golden Holy Lingams all the way along. At last he catches up with her and they make passionate love, while Daughter of the Mountains watches from a distance, shocked and envious.
    Then in the heat of passion Vishnu even reverts to his beautiful male form, which has no effect upon the intense lovemaking of these two great deities. They are so enthralled in their bliss that it does not matter that both lovers are male.
    Finally, when Shiva is drained of all his semen, he comes to his senses and realizes what had happened, how Vishnu’s glamour as an all-attractive, alluring woman, has enchanted him.
    Shiva returns to Daughter of the Mountains, not sure what she will say. His wife only smiles graciously and says, “With my Limitless Love for you and my infinite understanding, you are completely forgiven for your indiscretion. Hopefully you enjoyed yourself and learned something”.
    “Thank you, my Beloved,” her husband says humbly.
    Then with their entourage they return home. Meanwhile Vishnu returns to his female form of Enchanted One and gives birth to Shiva’s third son, named Ayyappa, before he returns to his original male form and resumes his place reclined on the Cosmic Serpent.
    When Shiva hears of this new birth, again he visits Vishnu who reclines upon the Cosmic
    Serpent and holds the new child on his lap.
    “Only you,” Shiva says to Vishnu, “could enchant me and make me lose my mind. Despite all of my austerities, desire overcame me, and it did not even matter when I realized that you had resumed your male form! I have learned that worldly pleasures serve the loftiest spiritual purposes, when we play in total innocence and purity of heart, and surrender to honest desire. My gratitude is boundless!”
    The Lord Sustainer bestows upon the newborn child the gift of a necklace with a beautiful jewel. “Ayyappa will be called the son of two fathers and he combines our aspects, O Shiva. He will grow to become a mighty hero!”
    Aware of the great destiny that awaits him, his divine parents leave the radiant infant on the banks of a river in a special place they have chosen for this purpose. The childless King of that country hears the infant’s cries, finds him, and the glorious child instantly wins the King’s heart. The King adopts Ayyappa as his own son, though shortly after this, the Queen gives birth to a son of his own flesh.
    The King, however, considers Ayyappa his first-born and designates him as his royal heir. The royal minister who envies the favor that the King bestows to Ayyappa, misleads the Queen, who feigns a fatal illness that her physician states can only be cured by drinking the milk of a tigress. The King despairs, aware of how close to impossible it is to obtain a tiger’s milk without being killed.
    However, brave and valiant Ayyappa volunteers, and marches off into the forest. Of course, because of his true parentage, Ayyappa is a powerful being. Some days later he returns to the court of the King, riding a tigress, followed by her cubs. This astonishing sight inspires the Queen to confess that the royal minister had misled her, and all of the conspirators beg forgiveness.
    Ayyappa forgives everything, yet he declares that he must leave, and allow the actual son of the King’s wife to be the crown prince. Ayyappa becomes a great hero, for he conquers Demons and inspires devotion to the Gods.

    She is the first inhabitant of the Garden of Paradise, living naked and unashamed in Original Innocence. This Woman, by some accounts named Lilitu, has as a special friend and close companion, the wisest and most subtle creature of the Garden, though in these early days he walks upon two legs like a man: the Serpent.
    The Serpent knows more about all the creatures, all the trees and flowers and green growing things of the Garden than any other being. The Woman learns all that she knows from this friend, for the Creator has blessed her and then left her there.
    However, amid all that lush vegetation and among the harmonious creatures, even with the special friendship and company of the wise Serpent, she eventually realizes that she longs for something. She wants a companion of her own kind, only not a female like herself. The Serpent has shown her how all other creatures were created female and male so that they can propagate their own kind.
    “Make for yourself that which you desire,” the Serpent tells her.
    “How can I do that?” she asks.
    He explains the process.
    Thus she takes her menstrual blood, mixes it with some clay and fashions herself a beautiful Man. She has seen the form of the Creator, who sometimes visits her in the Garden, so she bases the image upon his form. At the place on the body where it differs most from her own, she fashions a phallus in the image of her wise friend, the Serpent, to honor him.
    Finished molding the figure, she kneels beside it, places her mouth over the clay mouth and breaths life into him. As the Serpent promised, he comes to life! At first the Man is amazed and delighted to live with this beautiful Woman.
    However the Creator who brought the world forth from the Void announces: “She will become the mother of your children, and your wife”.
    “What does this mean?” Lilitu asks innocently, scratching her head. The Man smiles sweetly, but his words sting her. “It means that you must bow down and worship me!”
    “I bow to none but my great teacher, the Serpent,” Lilitu says indignantly. “I am happy to coexist with you as an equal partner, however, in reality I was here first. In fact, I created you! Yet I do not demand your subservience, only my own dignity and worth. I would like to be your friend and an equal partner”.
    The Man says, “Am I not created in the image of Our Father the Creator?”
    “Yes, and yet it was I who created you...”
    “Woman,” the Creator says, “do as he asks, for indeed, you see how he is like a Living Image of myself. Am I not worthy of your worship?”
    “You are worthy,” Lilitu says. “And yet after you created me, you left me here in this place of beauty where the Serpent befriended me and taught me all I know. This Man, however, whom I myself created to be my companion, I will not bow down to”.
    “Then you must leave,” the Man says. “I’ll find another, better companion”.
    “Father Creator...” Lilitu begins to object.
    “I am sorry, daughter,” the Creator says, “however, it is not because of your disobedience to the Man that you must leave Paradise – you must leave because of your pride”.
    “This is wrong!” she cries. “Why should I not be proud of what I have learned and of my ability to create life? I have nothing to be ashamed of!”
    However her protests do no good, for the Creator sends a messenger with a flaming sword to evict her, to force her out through the Gates of Paradise. Thus, out in the world beyond, Lilitu becomes a woman with the power of a goddess, who knows her own strength and always remembers her connection with the natural world.
    Still in the Garden, the Man says, “Oh Father, will you not make me another female of my own kind who will serve me as my wife?”
    “Be patient, child, for after you sleep next time, upon waking your prayers will be answered”.
    Thus while the Man sleeps does the Creator fashion from a rib of his side another Woman.
    It is this couple that the Creator warns about eating of the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. There are two Great Trees in Paradise, the other one called Life.
    “Eat from any of the trees except for the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, because if you eat from its fruit, you will die”.
    The Man smiles. “There are plenty of other trees of so many kinds! We will never hunger”. So for measureless time before time has any real meaning, the Man and Woman enjoy life in Paradise. One day while the Man takes a nap, the Woman wanders closer to the Tree of Knowledge, whose fruit the Creator forbade them to eat.
    Suddenly she draws back, a bit startled, for in the shade against the trunk is leaning another two-legged creature, though unlike herself and her husband, this one gleams with a smooth cool skin that shows an elegant pattern of scales. Plus his eyes are as round as the Moon and the Sun. “Let us walk in the Garden and talk,” it says.
    “Who are you?” she says.
    “I am called the Serpent”.
    “Why have I never seen you before?”
    “Well, I am quite good at remaining concealed, at only being seen when I wish to be seen”.
   
    “This is the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, the One Tree that the Creator told us we must not eat the fruit of... or we will die!”
    The Serpent steps forward into the light. “Do you believe that?” His body shimmers and shines, it ripples with his muscular grace, though a forked tongue quite unlike that of the Man, her husband, flickers forth from his snout, and then withdraws again.
    “Believe... ? How can I imagine that anything the Creator told us was not true?”
    “You will not die if you eat the fruit on the branches above me here. Oh no, not at all! Rather, your eyes will be opened and you will see everything as it really is for the first time. You will live forever and be more like the Creator. You will see that in reality you are also gods!”
    “How can I believe you? This could not be worth the risk of death!”
    “What I tell you is the truth, Woman. You will not die, if you eat this. You will be more like the Creator, for this is something that he withholds from you”.
    “Yes, I suppose it would be quite wonderful to be more like the Creator! He comes and goes from this place as he wishes. He made everything”.
    “Go ahead and try it. Then, when you realize that it cannot harm you, offer some to your husband. He will thank you forever after that, for your suggestion”.
    “Only,” she hesitates, “will this not be disobedience to the Creator?”
    “Follow your own heart, dear Woman”.

    A great leader of the tribe encounters the Lord Almighty while he tends a flock of sheep in the desert. He observes a shrub that appears to be burning, yet is not consumed, instead, it radiates heat and light.
    A voice says, “Take off your shoes... you are standing on holy ground”.
    “Who or what are you?” the man asks.
    The answer comes: “I AM what I AM becoming”. Then this unseen Lord Almighty demands that the man act on his behalf, and the man tries to get out of it. Instead, he is given a miraculous sign to perform so that he might be believed when he speaks of this experience.
    “Throw down your staff”.
    When he does so, the staff became a serpent.
    “Now, pick it up by the tail,” the voice instructs.
    Though he feels terrified, the man obeys, and the serpent becomes his staff again.

    Lord Kronus, King of the Titans, has driven his father Uranus back into the Sky. Remember: Gaia helps Kronus to accomplish this, after his promise to release her Beloved Monsters from the Underworld, and then he assumes power as Lord of Sky.
    Like his father, unfortunately Kronus not only forgets that promise, he similarly wanders far and wide to copulate with almost anyone or anything he can find to do it with. He discovers the monstrous she-goat called Aix, one of Gaia’s Beloved Monsters, who had avoided banishment by living in the remote wilds of Arcadia. Kronus mounts Aix as well, though once he climaxes, he immediately flees from their cataclysmic mating.
    Aix is left to give birth to the half-goat godling Pan. Like any godling, Pan matures swiftly to become the full-grown satyr form familiar to most of the world, even today. However Pan remains totally a wild thing, for once he is weaned, his monstrous mother drives him away to find his own part of the woodlands to live in.
    Pan almost always sports a huge erection, and through all of his early existence he desperately seeks partners with whom to couple, such as nymphs, shepherdesses and shepherds, even goats and other animals. In this, he resembles his father Kronus. Anything in the least bit willing, Pan engages in erotic sport with. Many are the stories of demi-gods and mortals terrified into flight when alone in the woodlands...
    Hermes eventually discovers Pan in the woodlands of Arcadia, playing plaintively upon the syrinx, a pipe of reeds he fashioned himself from rushes that grew along a shoreline where the nymph Syrinx, in flight from him had cried out for help, and was transformed by Hera into a bed of reeds.
    By this time Pan has been living for a very long time in the woodlands. His only companion most of the time is a drunken old satyr called Silenus.
    As yet, the current Queen of Heaven, Hera, knows nothing about the Woodland God until her stepson Hermes brings him up to the marble halls of Olympus to visit. “Who is this noisy and odorous creature?” Hera says, eyes wide and nose turned up.
    Indeed, Pan’s hooves clatter on the hard marble floors as he walks and he smells strongly, though it is a sweet natural fragrance, and some golden bees buzz around him.
    “His name is Pan,” Hermes says, “and he lives in the woodlands of Arcadia”.
    “I don’t recognize this fellow, however he is rather amusing,” Hera says, and with the rest of her family, the other gods and goddesses of Olympus, she laughs.
    The Olympians do not mean to be cruel, however they often feel high above and beyond concerns over the feelings and everyday experience of all that lives below their lofty home.
    Hermes realizes that he made a mistake to bring Pan up there, and immediately returns him to his home, a place that Hermes actually finds more delightful and fun than his father’s mountaintop mansion.
    “I’m sorry if my family and their household laughed at you,” Hermes says. Pan shrugs and grins. “Laughter is a good thing, my handsome young friend! You have shown me a place where I would not want to live, even if I was invited to dwell there with my own staff of servants to do my bidding”.
    Hermes looks upon him with admiration shining in his face, his fists planted on his narrow hips, the caduceus in one hand. His splendid youthful nakedness shines upon the forest greenery and trees.
    “You are a most sensible and admirable fellow,” Hermes says. “I will not forget you, and I hope that you will be my friend from now on”.
    “But of course,” Pan tells him.

    One day while awaiting the next message he is to convey on behalf of his father, the Lord of Sky, Hermes idly plays with his staff called the caduceus. For some reason, his penis begins to swell, perhaps by some kind of association. A sort of bell goes off in his head. He gazes down at his growing erection and sets the caduceus aside.
    He brings both hands together between his legs...
    Eventually Hermes flies down to the woodlands of Arcadia to tell his special friend the Great God Pan about his wonderful invention. His research and development phase kept reminding him of his friend, the woodland god of Arcadia, who always seems to sport a huge erection from the juncture of his shaggy legs, and who always seems to need something to do with that magnificent, raw-looking, upright thing!
    Pan lives within the hollow trunk of a huge oak tree that was long ago struck by lightning, when a chamber burned out from its heart. Then it continued to grow for centuries more and formed a perfect woodland cottage-cave for Pan to live in.
    One bright morning Hermes appears in the glade before Pan’s dwelling place and shouts out in his young masculine voice: “Where are you, my friend, Pan?”
    After a time, Pan emerges yawning and scratching his balls. “Why are you waking me up this way, young fellow?”
    “Oh, I’ve invented something totally fantastic that I want to share with you!”
    “Just so you don’t want me to go with you somewhere else... I’m quite content where I AM, as I AM”.
    “Trust me, Friend,” Hermes says, “you will thank me for sharing this with you”. Pan appears unconvinced. “Though you seem to have a lot of thieves and smugglers and pirates among your followers, I don’t believe that you have ever lied to me, young sprout. So tell me”.
    “Better if I just show you,” his handsome Olympian friend says. “Would you please bring me some olive oil?”
    With a shrug, Pan goes back inside his tree. Hermes grins and goes to sit down upon a huge stump that Silenus, Faunus and a few other forest friends of the woodland god sometimes use as a sort of table or altar. He sets aside his caduceus, and as he is already naked, he begins to caress his own body with both hands.
    Pan brings a jar of olive oil and places it on the ground.
    Hermes’s penis grows fully erect as he gazes down upon it. His hands circle over his chest, his abdomen, his hips, down his thigh and knees, over his calves, then back up the insides of his legs to converge between his legs. He caresses his genitals delicately at first, and his expression fills with joyous intent at his delicious sensations.
    Then he pauses to anoint both hands with olive oil and he continues; the lubrication renders his masturbation extremely intense, and Hermes spreads his knees even wider. His pelvis rocks, his chest heaves and he sighs and moans with the intensity of his self-induced bliss. His handsome head of curly hair falls back upon the sturdy neck, eyes half-closed and mouth gaped wide. He emits deep groans and gasps of delight.
    At first, Pan appears somewhat puzzled, then understanding dawns in his golden eyes. “This is amazing to see!” Pan declares. “It’s something I want to feel for myself!”
    Hermes stands up. His erection, shiny and stiff, bobs in front of the middle of his body. “I’m not saying this is better than making love with a goddess, or a nymph or a woman, or even with a young man, for that matter. However it’s every bit as good, and perhaps better in some ways. You can enjoy this anytime and never feel needy or rejected”.
    “Well,” Pan says, “let me anoint my hands and try this new thing”. So he does as Hermes does and the Lord of Forest and Fields is never the same god. Within moments his eyes are wild, he grins, hoots, groans and gasps in delighted amazement! While his existence has mostly been spent desperately longing for sexual fulfillment, chasing erotic pleasure and never getting quite enough even when it does happen, now Pan changes radically as he begins instead to masturbate incessantly.
    “Plus, there is no reason this should be a lonely pursuit,” Hermes tells him. “Let me show you how we can share it. Come here and sit beside me on this stump”. He moves his seat to one side of the mossy top of the stump and Pan sits down beside him. Hermes removes his hands from himself and reaches his closer arm across, to gently push Pan’s fingers away from his erection. He takes over the honors and begins to masturbate Pan. “Now,” Hermes instructs him, “you play with mine while I play with yours”.
    “I feel yours as you feel mine,” Pan says.
    And Hermes adds, “Sharing our pleasure is Divine!”

    Long, long ago two great families of gods, the Aesir and the Vanir are fighting a terrible war for domination of the world. The Aesir are heavenly warrior gods associated with the elements of air and fire and the sky Above. The Vanir are earthly fertility gods of water and earth and the surface world Below.
    Among the Vanir, the Water God Njord is the first and oldest, and his twin sister, the Earth Goddess is called Nerthus. These primordial siblings unite as the elements of water and earth to feed the roots of the World Tree called Yggdrasil. Njord is also God of the Sea, patron of ships and seamen, of beaches and the seacoast, and all shoreline activities. His sacred bird is the seagull.
    And so Njord takes Nerthus as his first wife. Such incestuous unions are quite common among the elder gods in almost every mythology.
    From the mating of Njord and Nerthus is born another pair of twins, Freyr and his sister Freya. These siblings in turn serve as patrons of pleasure, fertility and abundance. Though Freya later takes on attributes of both love and war, her brother Freyr remains peaceable and non-violent, unless he is attacked or deeply offended.
    At last the terrible conflict of the Aesir and the Vanir ends with a unification of the two tribes of gods. An amiable exchange of leaders formally concludes the hostilities, which is how Freyr and Freya come to live among the Aesir in their home at Asgard. There they flourish, and peace-loving Freyr is given the position of the highest ceremonial priest due to his skill in magickal arts. He reaches a status equaled only by Odin himself and his valiant son Thor.
    An honor that the Aesir bestow upon Freyr is to give him rule over the realm of Alfheim or Elfland. The kingdom of Light Elves or nature spirits are those beings that tend to all of the living processes of Nature. Thus Freyr also comes to be called the Lord of Elves.
    Freyr likewise has many incredible treasures that assist him on his adventures. These include the Golden Sword of Sunlight, not so much a weapon as a tool. It cannot fail in whatever he intends it to do, and he can use it to defend himself. Mostly his sword bestows the life-giving rays of the Sun. He also has the radiant golden-bristled boar Gullinbursti made for him by the dwarves, and a horse named Freyfaxi that can race across fire and air. Then there is a magickal ship called Skidbladnir, likewise a gift from the skillful dwarves, which can travel any direction regardless of the wind. Skidbladnir can bear a great army of men aboard it, and yet can also fold up to fit in Freyr’s pocket.
    All of these treasures represent aspects of Freyr’s phallic powers as patron of the animating force behind all appearances of the natural world on the Earth. With these gifts and powers, Freyr governs the prosperity of men as well, and bestows upon them pleasure and peace.
    He watches over farmers and gardeners and among his greatest gifts to the world are the beautiful flowers of forest and field. It is said that no weapon can be brought into his temples and no fighting should take place there. Though he has an earthly dwelling place where his great temple is built near what is now Uppsala in Sweden, two other great temples of Freyr in ancient times are built at Throndhjein in Norway, and Thvera in Iceland.
    His image is that of a handsome and virile bearded man, often shown with his sword and boar. A famous image of him shows a man sitting naked and cross-legged with a pointed hat and triangular beard that he pulls with one hand, while his huge phallus stands erect from his lap. He is directly related to Lord Shiva whom he resembles, as the oldest tradition says the Norse gods were “men who came from India” to Europe. In the “Ynglinga Saga” Snorri Sturlson describes the Norse gods as “men who came from India”, so the resemblance of Freyr to Lord Shiva is not surprising. Even his extravagant mustaches resemble those of the early Mountain God images of the Indus Valley culture.
   
    A tapestry from 12th century Sweden even shows what appears to be Odin, Thor, and Freyr as a Norse version of the Triple God: Creator, Sustainer, and Regenerator, Lord of Peace and Pleasure.
    Early tales tell of Freyr living at Uppsala as an actual king and the kings of Sweden later claim descent from him.

    Long ago the great sage Atri lives in a forest hermitage with his devoted, pious wife called Anasuya, meaning “Free From Envy”. They live a quiet life of meditation, in which they observe austerities and perform the traditional fire sacrifices. The famous divine sage Narada observes this ideal couple and during a visit with the Male Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva, he praises the virtues of Anasuya to the wives of the three great gods.
    Though Narada has no such intention, his effusive praise of Anasuya causes the wives of the three great gods to grow jealous of her; so they ask their husbands to do something about this.
    “Please reduce Free From Envy’s devotion to her husband Seventh Son,” they ask, “so we will feel more comfortable when we hear about her.
    Thus the Lords known as the Creator, the Sustainer, and the Regenerator assume appearances more like human mendicants begging for alms, rather than their awesome divine forms that sometimes appear with many arms, multiple faces and awesome auras.
    When Atri is gone from home, the three gods disguised as hermits approach the forest hermitage to visit Anasuya.
    “Oh Mother Anasuya! Give us some food,” they say.
    “Honored sages,” she replies, “you are most welcome here! Yes, of course, please sit down and allow me to serve you”.
    “We are most grateful,” Vishnu says, speaking for the Three. “However we will only accept the food if you agree to undress and serve us without any clothing on”.
    Anasuya lowers her gaze modestly. “Very well,” she says softly. “I will do as you request”. She goes to prepare the food for the three visitors, and when it is ready, she undresses and returns naked to serve them.
    “Because you call me Mother,” she says as she begins to serve the food, “I no longer view you as strangers, or as even as grown men. You are like my own children, very young and innocent. So I do not mind doing this for you”.
    The visitors eat the food and as they eat, due to the powers Anasuya’s virtue has given her, their appearance changes from that of adult males to the appearance of small children. Upon sight of the three adorable little boys, she feels her breasts fill with milk, and the milk drops with her readiness to nurse them. So she nurses the three toddlers, and when they doze off with full stomachs, she places them in a hanging cradle, which she rocks slowly to help them sleep.
    Before long, her husband Atri returns home. “Who are these beautiful babies?” he says in amazement, upon seeing the three. “And where did they come from?”
    “They are honored guests,” his wife says, “only I suspect that they are not what they appear to be! When they first arrived, they asked me to serve them their food only after I undressed. Someone has sent them to test me. I prayed to you, my husband, for guidance, and knew in my heart what you would say. I know that you trust my judgment.
    “Now I realize that the Great Gods have generously given these three sons to a childless couple that has always longed for children of their own”.
    Upon hearing these words, the three babies awake and begin to cry, but when Anasuya lifts them from the cradle, they again begin to change and they assume their original immense and resplendent divine forms. Extra heads and arms appear, and resplendent auras emanate from their huge figures.
    Of course, the pious couple falls down in worship before the Male Trinity as they appear in their splendid divine forms, with extra-human visages and limbs.
    “Mother Free From Envy,” Vishnu says, “you have shown admirable virtue and devotion to your husband, the noble sage Atri. What boon can we grant you? You have only to ask and it is yours”.
    Anasuya speaks humbly and presses her hands together before her heart, “Great Lords, my husband and I have no children of our own. I pray that we be given three sons, and because I have grown to love you as my own children, I ask that our sons be incarnations of you three”.
    “Granted,” Vishnu says with a serene smile, and raises one of his four hands in an elegant mudra gesture of blessing.
    Thus it comes about that Anasuya bears to her husband Atri three boys: Chandra, which means “Shining Moon” is an incarnation of the Creator Brahma, and he is also the Moon God. Dattatreya, meaning “Given to Seventh Son” is an incarnation of the Sustainer, Vishnu. Durvasa, or the “Impatient One” is an incarnation of the Regenerator, also known as Lord Shiva.
    Eventually the three sons merge as the Triple God. They are even shown as a single body with three heads: the Creator, Sustainer, and Regenerator, from left to right. As such, this deity also becomes the first teacher of non-duality of the indescribable and inconceivable Oneness behind all apparent diversity and separation. As such, Dattatreya is a full incarnation in a single form of the Triple God.
   
    The Triple God carries the Trishul, the Holy Trident of Shiva that has several levels of significance and a dog or dogs often accompany him. He embodies the three qualities of manifestation: purity, egotism, and darkness.
    Dattatreya makes major contributions to civilization. As a great scholar he becomes the first total master of the Four Vedas. He perfects the ritual use of the Elixir of the Gods, the Divine Nectar. By developing and refining the practice of Tantra, he achieves immense divine power and potency. His significance also merges the powerful austerities performed by his saintly father, Atri, and with the un-jealous and generous nature of his mother, Anasuya who is Free From Envy.
    He’s the One in Three; he’s the Three in One!
    The Triple God does not miss a thing!
    He is all of your possibilities!

    Osiris and Isis simply appear from the East, walk into the Nile Valley of Egypt, and they become the first Divine Couple to rule the Two Lands. This Lord and Lady bring all the arts and knowledge of civilization with them, and they build the first city. With them come their sister, Nephthys, and their brother called Set.
    Nephthys, the Lady of the House, is married to Set the Hunter. He pursues a primitive way of life, hunting in the marshy reed inlets along the river. Though she is married to Set, Nephthys prefers the company of Isis and Osiris. She spends much of her time with them and presides in their home as Lady of the House. While Isis is gone, Nephthys impersonates her sister, gets Osiris drunk and sleeps with him. When she bears a son, his name is called Anubis, and his actual father is Lord Osiris, not Set.
    Set is already envious of Osiris and Isis and their kingdom, the Two Lands, whose people adore and worship them, and when he learns that Osiris is the father of Anubis, he devises an evil plot for revenge. He invites Osiris to share a fine banquet with him, without their wives present. Though Isis and Nephthys are suspicious, Osiris insists on going alone. He says, “It is a sign of trust”.
    After they share the good food and plenty of drink, Set shows his brother a beautiful box, made precisely to fit the size and shape of Osiris’s body. “Oh, let me see if it fits me as it appears to,” Osiris says trustingly.
    “Let me help you try it out,” Set says and gives his brother a hand, as Osiris steps into the box and lies down. Immediately the followers of Set rush in, stab Osiris to death and seal the box, which becomes his coffin. They cast it into the Nile, where it floats downstream, through the delta and onto the northern sea.
    Isis quickly discovers what has happened. Through her powers and arts, she finally retrieves the body of her slain husband. Once she has returned the body home, Set discovers this. “If we don’t do something drastic,” he tells his minions, “Isis will try to bring him back to life!” So they sneak into the place where Isis keeps the coffin, and cut the body of Osiris into fourteen parts.
    “Now scatter these pieces far and wide,” Set tells them and they obey.
    Regardless, Isis eventually manages to find all the pieces, except for the phallus of Osiris, which has been thrown into the river and eaten by a fish called the Abtu fish.
    Undaunted, Isis reassembles the thirteen pieces that still exist. In order to facilitate the resurrection of her husband, Isis fashions a golden phallus and attaches it to the reassembled body of Osiris. She knows that she alone cannot bring him back to life – she can only make it possible for him to re-animate himself through an act of sacred masturbation.
   
    Egyptian vignettes commonly called “The Osiris Bed” depict the masturbatory self-reanimation of Osiris. He is seen lying on his back on the funerary couch, which has the shape of a lion. He masturbates his golden phallus in order to bring himself back to life. A frog of fertility that is the goddess Heqt stands at his feet. The Lady of the West, the goddess Hathor, who welcomes souls into the Western Lands, kneels at his head.
    In the process of resurrecting himself, Osiris spiritually conceives his son, Horus, in the soul bird of Isis. Osiris rises, but he is transformed and becomes the Lord of Souls and King of Eternity who rules in the Western Lands. Later, his son Horus is born to rule as Lord of the Living, and father and son are closely identified and serve the same purpose for the Living and for the Dead.
    They are the Son and the Father of All Things.

    The Emerald Phallus
    1.) Here is the truth; definite and reliable.
    2.) This, which is Below, corresponds with this, which is Above, and this, which is Above, corresponds with this, which is Below, to accomplish the miracle of the One Thing.
    3.) This, which is Within, corresponds with this, which is Without, and this, which is Without, corresponds with this, which is Within, to accomplish the miracle of Divine Inspiration.
    4.) And just as All Things come from this Oneness through the meditation of the One Mind, so do all created things originate from this Oneness through Transformation.
    5.) The Holy Trinity: Its Father is the Sun; Its Mother the Moon. The Wind carries it in its belly. Its Nurse is the Earth. This One is the Son and the Father of All Things.
    6.) It is the origin of All, the consecration of the Universe. Its power is perfect after it has been united with the Earth.
    7.) Separate the Earth from Heaven, the Subtle from the Gross, gently and with great ingenuity and devotion.
    8.) The Rainbow Bridge rises from Earth to Heaven, and descends again to Earth, thereby combining within itself the powers of both the Above and the Below; of the Without and the Within.
    9.) Thus will you obtain the glory of the whole Universe; all obscurity will become clear to you.
    10.) This is the greatest force of all powers, because it overcomes every subtle thing, and penetrates every solid thing.
    11.) In this way is the Universe created.
    12.) From this will come forth many wondrous applications, because this is the pattern.
    13.) For these reasons I AM called Thrice Great Hermes, having all Three parts of the wisdom of the whole Universe. In this Holy Trinity is the wisdom of the whole world.
    14.) I have completely explained here the Operation of the Male Energy of the Sun God.

    • While stroking your penis, send the other hand to caress other parts of your body and invite sensation to flow there also. Again, switch hands!
    • Include your balls and your anus in masturbating mindfully.
    • Always use lubrication, both to heighten penile sensations and to protect the organ’s sensitivity.
    • Arouse your entire body!
    • Also, it helps tremendously if you make recordings of yourself during masturbation sessions, as feedback upon your process to observe your habits and to help you decide how to break through patterns to explore new territory. Still photos that include your face, as well as video recordings with sound are excellent. As you review the images, make notes, and if you grow aroused, that’s a good sign! It’s a perfect way to monitor your self-esteem, and also to study your practice with some degree of “outsider objectivity”. It helps you refine and evolve the way you pleasure yourself. It’s a liberating process.

    • Some men have hair-trigger sensitivity and must learn to make ejaculation a choice.
    • Other men find it challenging to reach ejaculation at all and may want to focus on regaining more sensitivity.
    • The practice called “edging”, where you maintain high arousal at the edge of ejaculatory inevitability without going over the edge, is a first step toward learning to make ejaculation a choice.
    • Combined with breathing, relaxing, and variety of strokes and positions, this becomes powerful and makes semen retention possible.

    • Semen retention allows you to absorb the erotic charge you generate, instead of throwing it out of your body along with your semen.
    • When you choose not to ejaculate so often, the energy generated by your enjoyment becomes a part of you.
    • Rather than the mood swing that can accompany frequent ejaculation, you remain charged with good feelings almost all of the time.
    • You begin to glow, to attract more of what you want in life, and you feel better than ever before in your life.
    • Also, when you have not ejaculated during arousal and stimulation, when you resume erotic play, your body “remembers” its set point and you reach the same high level quickly to continue...
    • Further, by retaining semen, anytime during the day that you wish to engage in further play, you are easily aroused again.

    • Enter your session gradually and do stretches coordinated with breathing.
    • Focus on continuous breathing; do not hold the breath in or out, rather keep it going.
    • Allow breathing to be a tool that you consciously employ while you pleasure yourself, and you increase your enjoyment as well as your skill.
    • There is not any one rate of breathing or way of breathing that is required – only continue to breathe deeply and remain relaxed.

    • Avoid tensing up muscles, as relaxed muscles allow sensation to flow from your genital region throughout your body.
    • To stay relaxed also helps you to make ejaculation a conscious choice.
    • This allows your arousal to come and go naturally through various levels of intensity.
    • Erection is part of the relaxation response, and it helps to consciously let go of stress and distractions.
    • Thus you can surrender to the full enjoyment of your practice.

    • Use both hands and alternate hands.
    • Employ one hand on genitals while using the other to caress other parts of your body such as nipples and face and feet.
    • Pay full attention, perhaps photograph or videotape yourself and examine those images to become more aware of your habits.
    • A limitless variety of touch and caress can be employed when you open your awareness to the possibilities.
    • This more thoroughly arouses you and wires new pathways into your brain.
    • Likewise change positions while you masturbate.
    • Don’t get stuck in any one position or stroke, rather explore, as this helps your entire body to share in your ecstatic bliss.
    • Stand, walk, sit, lie down – do it all!

    • Tense, shallow upper-chest breathing
    This makes it possible to remain somewhat stressed all through your session, deprives you of oxygen, and may cause you to ejaculate sooner than you wish.
    • Remaining in a single position
    Locks up sensations within your body, and prevents the sensations from naturally radiating to your entire body.
    • Using one hand
    Again, this easily limits how much sensation and nuance of penile pleasure you may experience and keeps it localized.
    • Remaining transfixed on porn
    This is not morally wrong, of course, however it can actually desensitize the circuit of pleasure centers in your brain.
    • Restraining natural sounds and movements
    Keeps your sensations from blossoming, and it’s polar opposite is the loud, delicious delirium of full surrender to blissful self-love and total fun!
    Yes, I'm quite noisy while I masturbate, unless someone is sleeping nearby and I don't want to wake him! I'm letting my arousal build more gradually, and getting noisier and noisier about what I feel! This intense, somewhat noisy journey continues, my penis incredibly sensitive – YOWWW! And I'm constantly training it. Plus, when I ejaculate, I can be REALLY loud!!!
    • Frequently ejaculating
    This can produce the abrupt mood-swings that many males experience daily, sometimes far more often – plus you can miss the opportunity to explore the stratosphere of high ecstatic states including male multiple orgasm and dry orgasms, precious rewards of Erotic Engineering.
    • Abruptly switching attention back to other activities
    You can easily miss the delicious afterglow, and a more gradual transition that can help preserve the oxytocin and other bliss chemicals that Mindful Masturbation can generate.

    Masturbation does not have to be about being alone or doing something on your own, masturbation with a partner or someone you love is a way to share reaching another level of sexual satisfaction and spiritual centering. I believe our sexual energy emanates from our center, it grows and pulsates with our heart. The more we meditate on it, the more we understand it. Masturbation can be done alone, with a loved one, or in my dreams in the middle of a huge auditorium with 100s of people masturbating at the same time, wouldn't that be cool??
    I personally happen to be a big fan of porn, not as seeing an ideal or something I can never hope to experience, but as a way to see another human being experiencing intense sexual gratification, it is like sexual “art”, something to be appreciated and loved. I love to take videos and pics of myself, not in a narcistic way, but to remember a hot time, or relive a sensual and sexual experience. I love when I see a video of myself and I think, SHIT THAT'S HOT! As you know, I was taking my own remembrances of our time together with my own little camera and I watch them repeatedly and think HOW LUCKY I WAS, to share such an experience with like minded men. I know MANY men can never hope to have such freedom because of family/social restrictions, but I know with your vision you are providing men with a “life line” of how we can live our lives. We all have obligations and we just can't just throw a switch and change our lives in one day, but little by little, I think we can all work to a better place of sexual self acceptance, freedom and love.

    Before the counting of time begins, The King of the Gods realizes that when time begins to be counted, the Gods will need to drink the Divine Nectar to remain immortal. Immortality will become a condition that must be maintained, rather than something inherent to his kind.
    So the King of the Gods approaches Vishnu, who reclines resplendent and smiling his calm, knowing smile, stretched at ease upon the body of the Great Cosmic Serpent that swims in the Ocean of Milk.
    “Oh, Supreme Lord Sustainer”, the King of the Gods addresses the great deity respectfully, “what can I do to obtain a regular supply of this Divine Nectar that we need?”
    “You know that the ecstasy of the Moon God, Soma, produces the Divine Nectar. He transforms ordinary pleasure into divine bliss”.
    “Yes. But where does the Soma keep this Nectar?”
    “It is hidden in this Ocean of Milk, in an urn. In order to get the Nectar, you will need to churn this ocean, just as you churn milk to make butter and whey, so that you can create ghee, cheese, and curds”.
    “That’s a wonderful idea! Only it will be a challenge to churn this Milky Ocean... I mean, is this ocean not infinite?”
    Vishnu merely raises a hand, smiles sweetly and mysteriously, and allows the King to figure it out for himself.
    The King realizes that this job is too big and challenging even for all of his host of brawny and virile Gods to undertake without further assistance. Even they do not have enough numbers and strength to do this.
    So he sends a message to the King of the Demons, the ancient enemies of the Gods. The Demon King agrees to a temporary truce to undertake the cooperative project, for he figures that once the Divine Nectar is obtained, he can seize it for himself and make his Demons supremely powerful and immortal.
    Like any great sacred mountain, in that part of the world Mount Meru is considered the Center of the Universe. Also, like Mount Kailash, Meru is not composed of rock fragments, but a single mass of rock. So the Gods and Demons together bring Mount Meru, the World Mountain, the Axis of the World to the shores of the Milky Ocean to use as a churning rod. The Gods and Demons insert Mount Meru into the ocean.
    They persuade the King of Serpents, the Son of the Cosmic Serpent, to twine his body in a spiral around Mount Meru, to act as a churning rope, so that the Gods can pull on his head end, while the Demons pull on his tail end. In a regular, coordinated tug-of-war, pulling back and forth, they cause the mass of rock to rotate within the Ocean.
   
    Actually, this works so incredibly well, with the World Mountain rotating back and forth as the two teams together pull the Serpent King’s lengthy body one way and then the other, and back again and again, that the mountain begins to sink into the Milky Ocean.
    “Please, Oh Supreme Lord Sustainer,” the King of the Gods cries out again, when he sees this happening. “Help!”
    So Vishnu transforms himself into a Great Turtle, dives into the milk, and swims into the deepest depths, under the World Mountain to support its base on his shell so that the churning can continue.
    For a thousand years the Gods and Demons together churn the Milky Ocean, until treasures begin to float to the surface.
    In this way, Fourteen Precious Things emerge from the Ocean. First comes the Wish-Granting Cow, then the Sea Goddess, the Wish-Granting Tree, the Heavenly Nymphs, the Five-Day Crescent Moon (which Shiva claims and puts on his head as horns!), the Sacred Cannabis Plant, and a Magickal Ruby (that Vishnu claims). The next three treasures are great beings. The Earth Mother, who is Goddess of Prosperity, floats up seated upon a lotus with a water lily in her hand. The God of Healing appears and in his hand he holds an urn. In this last is the Divine Nectar created by the Moon God.
    So far the Gods are claiming all the treasures, which enrages the Demon King.
    Finally, after three more treasures, the last treasure, curiously enough, is a flask of poison so potent that it could kill the entire Universe. The Demons are not totally evil, and the Gods are not entirely virtuous and perfect, yet all of them are divine beings. Similarly, though it is extremely toxic, the poison is considered as precious as all those other treasures that emerge because they all come directly from the same Prime Source of All Things.
    However, the toxicity of the poison alarms the King of the Gods so much that he fears: if even a single drop of the poison escapes it could kill everything – literally.
    “Oh Supreme Lord, please...” The King of the Gods begins to pray.
    “My Child,” Vishnu speaks calmly, “this poison is beyond even my power to transmute. Ask Shiva, the Regenerator and Transformer to help you”.
    The King thanks him and prays fervently to Shiva. “Auspicious One, you are my last hope! We have brought forth the Divine Nectar, but along with it has come this terrifying poison”.
    Seated naked atop Mount Kailash, holding his Holy Trident in one hand, Shiva raises another hand and smiles upon the King of the Gods. “Yes, the poison is the negative balance for the positive of the Divine Nectar, and yet it cannot be allowed to escape into the world, any more than you can allow the Demons to take the Nectar from you. Both events would cause a terrible imbalance in Nature”.
    “Please help me,” the King places his hands together before his chest and bows humbly. Shiva comes down from his peak to the shore of the Ocean of Milk and takes up the flask of poison and opens it. While he holding the flask with one hand to drink, he squeezes his own neck with his other hand, so hard it closes his throat, and then he drinks the entire contents of the flask. This way he takes care not to swallow the poison past his neck, for even he, the Auspicious One, could not survive the poison passing into his body.
    It is said that the poison stains the neck of Shiva blue, though his power transforms the poison and renders it harmless. Forever after this event his blue neck is a reminder of how he saves the world.
    Meanwhile with the distraction of this drama going on, the King of Demons takes the opportunity to grab the urn of Divine Nectar and he runs away with it.
    Vishnu sees this happen and assumes his lovely female form, Enchanted One, to go after the Demons. Enchanted One flatters and flirts with the Demon King until he trusts her enough to be given the job of dispensing the Nectar to him and his Demon Lords. Instead, of course, Enchanted One reverts to Vishnu’s male, four-armed resplendent form and calls his Solar Eagle, Garuda.
    As Garuda carries Vishnu back to his couch on the Cosmic Serpent, while they fly across the sub-continent, the flapping of the brilliant bird’s wings jostle the urn. Four drops of the Sacred Nectar spill and fall to four places below: these become the major sites of pilgrimage and festivals to celebrate the Divine Nectar.
    So Vishnu returns the urn to the King of the Gods. His Gods drink from it and their power and long lives are restored.