ESO: Extended Sexual Orgasm >>
Alan P. Brauer, Donna Brauer, and Richard Rhodes
(by Brauer, A. P., and D. Brauer. How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm. New York: Warner Books, 1983)

My name is Alan Brauer. I'm a psychiatrist—a medical doctor who helps people learn to change their behavior. My wife, Donna, assists me as a counselor and therapist. We have a thriving, challenging center in Palo Alto, California.

In 1975 we heard from a married couple doing sex research that they had discovered how to make climax—sexual orgasm—last much longer than anyone has ever thought possible. Not seconds longer or minutes longer. Hours longer, they said. They also said it was wonderful.

We were skeptical. Sex therapy is an important part of our practice. We've treated many clients with sexual problems and we've studied the scientific literature. Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the pioneer sex researchers, docked female orgasm in their experimental subjects at an average four to twelve seconds per climax. Dr. Seymour Fisher, in his thorough 1973 study The Female Orgasm, discovered a similar average—six to ten seconds. Masters and Johnson and Fisher have noted that a few exceptional women experience unusually intense orgasms that last longer than twenty seconds. Male orgasm has been reported to average about the same few seconds as female.

On the other hand, we have occasionally encountered clients in our practice who describe experiencing unusually long, continuous orgasms lasting from five to fifteen minutes.

The husband and wife who told us about their breakthrough were willing to allow us to observe them making love, which we did, in a structured teaching situation. We saw all the signs of orgasmic response, extended on that particular occasion for almost an hour. Afterward we listened to the couple's explanation of how they learned by trial and error to extend their orgasms. We went home and practiced. Over the next several months we taught ourselves.


During the ESO training process you become more in control of the stimulation than your partner. You partner already has some control of the pushing out—the contractions—and the withdrawing, just as he already has some control of moving toward your hand or away when you are stroking his penis or her clitoris earlier. But much more than before, he and she are lost in feeling and are doing very little thinking, they just kind of blanked out for a moment. They're reacting rather than controlling. You are in charge of supplying the right stimulation. You need to feel in command. As you learn what you're doing you will. As long as you don't do anything to cause pain, your partner lets you—and should let you—control. When the stimulation is right, he or she won't move toward you or away. They stay where they are and enjoy what they're feeling at letting their body do what it wants to.

We were convinced then from personal experience that vastly extended climax is possible and can be learned. We set out to develop ways to teach others to extend orgasm in a step-by-step, safely structured system in a therapeutic program.

By 1982 we had trained some sixty couples and forty individuals in what we now call ESO: Extended Sexual Orgasm.

Besides training couples and individuals during the last several years, we have presented many intensive weekend seminars to medical and health professionals throughout the United States, reporting ESO techniques. A highlight of those seminars is a videotape of a husband sustaining his wife through thirty minutes of extended orgasm.

Approximately fifteen percent of the men and women who attend our weekend seminars report in one-month-follow-up questionnaires that they have achieved some level of ESO.

The couples who are learning ESO are average men and women. Some are younger, some older. Some come to us originally with sexual problems. Others are comfortable sexually but want to increase the pleasure they share. More than thirty percent are able to learn ESO within a period of two or three months.

ESO is not merely extended foreplay. It is not simply "multiple orgasm." Nor is it some ancient system of subtle spiritual discipline. At its ultimate level, for women, ESO is deep, continuous orgasm of ever-increasing arousal lasting thirty minutes to an hour or more. There are intense, measurable, continuous muscular contractions of two types—superficial and deep. For men, ESO at its ultimate level is first-stage orgasm, that momentary peak of intense pleasure just before a man feels he is going to ejaculate, extended in time for thirty minutes to an hour or more. There is hard erection and copious secretion of clear fluid.

ESO embodies a range of experiences at different levels of intensity for men and women as well.

Comparable male and female structures
Male and female sexual anatomy look dramatically different, and they are—one is almost the reverse of the other—but in terms of how the genitals develop, they're very much alike. The male and female genitals evolve from the same tissues in the developing fetus.
Male penis is reflected in female clitoris. Female labias are reflected in male scrotum. Female vaginal and anal openings are reflected in male anal opening.

Male and female anatomy


Stage I

In single, brief orgasm (Stage I), woman's arousal increases with stimulation through an excitement phase to an orgasm of one-second contractions lasting from four to twelve seconds. Contractions are the superficial, vaginal-"clenching" type. The vagina responds to single orgasm by tenting—by enlarging at the back and lifting up into the body. To a finger inserted into the vagina, that response feels like a loosening and a pulling away. Then arousal declines steadily down to baseline. This is orgasm as Masters and Johnson describe it in Human Sexual Response.

Male arousal increases with stimulation through an excitement phase to a three- to five-second burst of pleasurable internal contractions (emission-state orgasm), which is experienced as a sense of ejaculatory inevitability (urgency)—the point of no return. You know you're going to ejaculate and can't stop. Several seconds later ejaculation begins, with six to ten strong, propulsive orgasmic contractions and the expulsion of semen, lasting about ten seconds.

A male doesn't necessarily have an erection at first. The reason he won't is that he's been paying attention to something else or his woman, not to himself. He'll be aroused, but it's a myth that men automatically become erect in sexual situations. They don't. Most need their penises directly stimulated to achieve erection, especially men beyond their twenties who have been with a familiar partner for a few years. It's normal. Men who are immediately erect without penile stimulation in every sexual encounter make up only a small minority of the general population.


Stage II

Multiple brief orgasm (Stage II) is identical to single brief orgasm except that arousal doesn't immediately decline to baseline. Instead it dips below the orgasmic level to high excitement level. Then, with continuing or renewed stimulation, it returns briefly to the prior orgasmic level with a rapid burst of superficial contractions like those of single orgasm. This process may repeat several times. Eventually arousal returns to baseline.

After a refractory period of several minutes or longer, when stimulation isn't effective, a man may have a second, similar orgasm. This is multiple orgasm in the male (Stage II).

Female and Male Orgasmic Responses

The graph shows the differences in arousal and response through time of single orgasm, multiple orgasm, and ESO (Stage I, Stage II, Stage III).

Stage III: ESO, Phase I

ESO passes through the same first phases as Stage I orgasm: excitement and a burst of rapid contractions. Or it can begin after several Stage II multiple-orgasmic responses. But instead of dropping back to the high-excitement level, it continues upward from the orgasmic level to even higher levels of arousal—climbing, leveling, and climbing.

The first phase of ESO is characterized by alternating slow contractions of the superficial vaginal/perineal muscles (squeeze contractions) and the deep pelvic muscles (push-out contractions). We identify this state of mixed deep and shallow contractions as Phase I. It may continue for fifteen minutes or longer. Both the squeeze and push-out contractions are variable in length, lasting from one up to thirty seconds. Their intensity also varies depending on sort of stimulation and body's resistance. Contractions during ESO are slower and longer than during Stage I and Stage II orgasm.

ESO usually begins with clenching vaginal or penile contractions like those of ordinary, brief orgasm but continuing without any pause or rest between contractions for one minute or more. Each contraction is short, lasting about one second.

At higher levels, ESO is characterized by longer, push-out contractions of the deep pelvic muscles. With the beginning of ESO a vagina/anus responds to a stimulating finger by pushing out, as if the uterus/rectum were pushing toward the opening of the vagina/anus and closing the vaginal/anal space. Each deep pelvic contraction can last ten seconds or more. It is followed immediately by another push-out contraction or by one or more clenching vaginal/penile contractions lasting several seconds each. When you feel that pushing, you or your partner are beginning to have a deep pelvic orgasmic contraction that may herald the beginning of ESO.

Generally, stimulating the clitoris/penis encourages superficial squeeze contractions (outer one-third of vagina/perineum/rectum); stimulating the inner trigger area (G-spot, prostate gland) or testicles and perineum encourages deep push-out contractions. The deeper contractions involve the deep pelvic musculature, including the big and smooth muscles of the uterus, prostate, seminal vesicles, rectum, and scrotum. These deeper contractions are longer and more pleasurable. They represent the physical basis for female and male extended sexual orgasm. A combination of alternating and simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris/penis and the inner trigger area/testicles/prostate is the basic method of the first phase of ESO. We also call this phase the staircase phase because of the way it looks on a graph.

The duration and intensity of the deep pelvic contractions depend primarily on the amount of stimulation. You control the duration of a contraction when you stimulate yourself or your partner in the climbing process. You slow the contractions by decreasing vaginal and clitoral or penile and testicular-perineum stroking.
       You climb to a higher level of arousal during push-out contractions. Then you resist and level, a vagina/anus is withdrawing from your finger and clenching—squeezing—around it or testicles are pulling upward.
       During leveling, you experience squeeze contractions. Then you increase stimulation and climb again and experiences push-out contractions.

During leveling periods of ESO, you are usually more quiet, your body stiller and your pelvic contractions of the squeeze type. During climbing periods of ESO, body movements and vocalizing are likely to be much more obvious, because you are experiencing much higher levels of arousal. Moaning, jerky motions of arms and legs, tossing a head, curling toes and feet, panting, sweating, all are signs of extreme arousal are expected to see in the climbing stages as ESO continues. Women and men experience it subjectively as continuous orgasmic pleasure—rising and leveling but never dropping away. Women and men in this phase of ESO are aware that they must deliberately reach for sensation to climb higher and avoid dropping away. When you're having orgasmic contractions, you continue to supply yourself with a high level of stimulation in a regular way.


In males, the sense of ejaculatory inevitability is brought under control. The phase of pleasurable internal contractions and emission increases from a few seconds to a minute, to ten minutes, even to thirty minutes or more—followed by an intense but not necessarily extended ejaculation phase. Men experience this phase subjectively as sustained orgasmic pleasure. They are aware that they must deliberately concentrate on control techniques to avoid cresting over into ejaculation. That feels like climbing to increased arousal, leveling, climbing higher and leveling again.

Male ESO is different from female ESO. In female ESO you moved up to and through brief orgasm to a higher level of orgasm. In male ESO a man moves up to and into first-stage orgasm: the emission stage, where there is hard erection, obvious arousal, and an intermittent secretion of clear fluid from the penis, which signals the presence of highly pleasurable internal contractions.

These contractions are from the prostate and other glands that contribute to semen production. You will help yourself reach this stage and extend it to even higher levels of arousal without cresting over into ejaculation.

The prostate in the male, like the G spot in the female, is often highly sensitive to stimulation, especially when there is already excitement with erection. A man's sexual arousal can be increased simply by massaging his prostate with a finger inserted through the anus into the rectum. The prostate can also be stimulated less directly—but more easily and comfortably—by applying pressure behind the scrotum to the area between the back of the scrotum and the anus, in the valley of skin known as the perineum. We call this important pressure point the external prostate spot. Not every man finds this stimulation arousing at first. The closer a man is to orgasm, the more likely he is to find prostate stimulation pleasurable.

Stimulating the prostate along with stimulating the penis produces a deeper, more powerful, longer orgasm in most men. The first stage of orgasm, the emission phase, involves automatic contractions of the prostate. Firm, rhythmic pressure on the prostate, even from outside the body, partly duplicates these sensations of first-stage orgasm. But because you aren't stimulating the ejaculatory reflex, the orgasmic contractions proceed without ejaculation. Prolonged stimulation also results in greater semen volume, and semen volume is one important factor in a man's sense of the intensity of his orgasm. Alternately or simultaneously stroking the penis and the prostate also produces high levels of continuous arousal. You may try to stimulate a prostate directly by inserting a lubricated finger or penis into the rectum and pressing upward toward the scrotum. You may not be familiar with the sensation. Explore it with an open mind.

If you find it awkward to stimulate your external prostate spot with your left hand (assuming you are right-handed and have been using your dominant hand to stimulate your penis), switch hands and stroke your penis with your left hand while you search out and rhythmically press your external prostate spot with your right. Because this spot is located behind the base of the penis, which is buried inside the body, pressing on it firmly pushes extra blood into your penis, which then should swell and pleasurably throb.

When you find yourself approaching orgasm, one good way to control ejaculation and to reduce the ejaculatory reflex is simply to stop stroking: stop stimulating, take your hands away from your penis, hold your breath, relax and spread your blowing testicular energy upward and all over the body. Alternatively you can press sometimes firmly and sometimes slightly on the external prostate spot. Still another way to achieve ejaculatory control is pulling your testicles away from your body. Sometimes you need to pull them firmly down, and sometimes you need just to caress and pull them lightly in rhythm as you stroke.

By learning to control the approach of ejaculatory inevitability, you are able to accept increasing amounts of stimulation during emission-state orgasm. Your level of arousal increases. You experience the stimulation as increasingly pleasurable and you are able to accept more of it longer without ejaculating. The intensely pleasurable state close to ejaculation becomes more stable with experience and extends in time, as we saw in the graph of male response. You begin to notice an intermittent secretion of fluid from your penis. During this time you may secrete as much as an ounce or more of clear fluid that is thinner than semen. Your penis is hard and engorged and it doesn't soften unless you completely stop stimulating. You're not thrusting or straining. You're the driver, controlling your level of arousal and maintaining yourself just this side of ejaculation. You're the passenger too, along for the ride?you're giving up control to your partner. Ejaculation occurs when you choose.

Stimulation:
• of the glans penis—for leveling orgasm and squeezing, superficial, perineal contractions,
• of the testicles and prostate spot—for climbing orgasm and push-out, deep, pelvic contractions.


Communication continues during ESO just as it did before—with body movements, with careful reading of responses, with vocalizing. In women, the main sign that should guide stimulation is the vagina or pushing outward against fingers in contraction. In males his sign is elevation and withdrawal of testicles.

When you start to level—when there's a pause in your climbing, when your push-outs cease, when you feel a vagina or an anus or testicles drawing back, elevating up and pulling away—slow your stroke, lighten the pressure and switch your attention from the vagina/G spot/anus/testicles/perineum and focus more on the stimulation of the clitoris/penis. Stimulating the clitoris/penis usually results in one or more squeeze contractions. Those contractions signal that you should switch your attention to the inner trigger area of the vagina or to the perineum, prostate, and testicles. Look for a push-out contraction then—that will mean the body is experiencing its most rapid form of climbing. You should continue the kind of stimulation that best works to produce continuous waves of push-out contractions.

You add pressure and speed up your stroke and the body begins to push out against your fingers again. That means you're supplying the right amount of stimulation. You can continue at that level. Or you can increase the pressure and rate to bring on more climbing. Higher arousal may eventually lead to resistance, and you will feel a vagina/anus again withdrawing, signaling you to lighten and slow your stroke.

Within a few seconds as you notice the change of contractions, either squeeze or push-out, redirect your stimulation. If your pattern of rhythmic stimulation is correct, the periods of time between contractions, squeeze or push-out, will be very brief—approximately one to five seconds. Your experience of continuous contractions of either kind will be longer—in the range of ten to thirty seconds.

As you continue this pattern for fifteen minutes or more you will find that the brief resting—leveling—periods occur less and less frequently and you have contractions more and more of the time. When the leveling or resting periods disappear and your contractions are all deep push-outs, you have entered Phase II ESO.


Stage III: ESO, Phase II

Women mainly have to let go. Men first must be able to let go, to allow arousal and erection, but then men have not to let go, to prevent early ejaculation. When you finally let go of all resistances, you enter the second phase of ESO, the continuous-climbing phase. At this highest level of ESO, which we call Phase II, continuous slow waves of push-out contractions of the deep pelvic muscles replace the mixed contractions of Phase I. This second phase of ESO is characterized by smooth, long waves of deep push-out contractions. Each contraction lasts up to thirty seconds and there are no rest periods between. Women and men experience this phase subjectively as a continuous orgasmic increase. A man finds himself in a continuous state of orgasmic emission and milking for thirty minutes or more. Clear fluid issues almost continuously, drop by drop, from his penis. Whenever he or his partner decide, a male can ejaculate.

In Phase II ESO you become more stabilized. The jerking and panting tend to diminish as you experiences quieter ecstasy. Your blood pressure and heart rate drop moderately from their high levels in earlier stages of orgasm. Your pelvic muscles relax. Your anal sphincter relaxes and opens.

You create this second phase by stimulating both the clitoris/penis and the vagina/testicles/perineum/anus at the same time. Some women or men are able to experience both Phase I and Phase II ESO with clitoral or penile stimulation alone. They can sustain push-out contractions with only clitoral stimulation. Vaginal or testicular/perineal/anal stimulation still usually adds to the intensity of their experience. Eventually genitals may become so sensitized that a light touch, a teasing tickle, even simply blowing warm air on it or applying cool lubricant to it and letting the lubricant melt, give intense pleasure. You can keep yourself there for as long as you like.

Testicles, prostate, perineum, and anus are easy to be reaches and stimulated all over the play.


To you this phase feels timeless. You feel as if you are on a smoothly ascending orgasmic track—an orgasmic track of continuous and smoothly rising pleasure of continuous climbing where you no longer need to concentrate on holding back your ejaculation. You feel as if you don't have to work to stay there. Like a meditative state, the feeling is of an altered state of consciousness—floating without effort. In the first phase of ESO—the staircase phase—you push mentally and constantly reach for more pleasure. In the continuously climbing phase you have no sensation of effort. This experience can last from several minutes to an hour or more.

We have preliminary data from electrical brain recordings that show characteristic changes in brain waves occurring during ESO. The brain-wave pattern appears to be different from other states of arousal and other stages of orgasm. We find a possible shift in activity between the left and right hemispheres of the brain, which become more synchronized with each other. These changes are similar to those seen in states of deep meditation.

One of our clients, Natali, calls the experience of second-phase ESO "being nailed." "At a certain point," she told us, "I finally gave up and let go completely. It's as if Andre had me nailed to the spot and I couldn't move a single muscle. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay there forever." Another client compared the sensation to "floating in space." A third found "no questions, only answers. Problems that had been bothering me for a long time suddenly seemed clear."

After you have enjoyed a few minutes of second-phase ESO, you may need less stimulation to maintain the continuous climb. The orgasmic process becomes more self-sustaining. Light stimulation of the vagina/penis and clitoris/testicles-perineum or of either area alone is usually sufficient then. Orgasmic contractions may even continue for thirty seconds or more with no stimulation at all.


Women and men trained in ESO report experiencing a level of arousal with extended orgasm different from the arousal of single or multiple brief orgasm. Each orgasm in a series of multiple orgasms, they say, feels much the same as the last one. But ESO feels more and more intense as the stimulation continues. Arousal keeps on increasing during ESO. The vagina or penis feels as if it is taking over. But remember, heart rate and blood pressure actually go down. You won't explode.

The graph shows that continuing increase. We've left it open-ended because we have not yet seen any limit to the level of orgasmic arousal possible—except the obvious limits of a individual's or couple's time and energy. Sooner or later someone may get tired or decide everyone had enough for now. You'll choose then to come down.

Before then, you may finish yourself or your partner by taking yourself or her/him up to an extra-high peak of orgasmic arousal, a true climax—by giving yourself or her/him extra stimulation. You may ejaculate, and your ejaculatory orgasm will be more intense. Instead of six to ten contractions, there may be fifteen to twenty or more, and it lasts twenty seconds or more. Keep stimulation lightly through ejaculation and afterward, paying more attention to your scrotum, your prostate, and the shaft of your penis when your glans becomes hypersensitive to touch.

If you keep stimulating after ejaculation appears to be over, you can extend ejaculatory orgasm by half a dozen contractions or more. You'll be lightly caressing the penis and pushing and milking the external prostate spot. Part of your or your partner's pleasure during ejaculation comes from the sensation of fluid pushing up and milking from the base of the penis. By pushing on the external prostate spot you can mimic and stimulate that good feeling. Then the pulsing of the deeper pelvic muscles can continue for several pleasurable minutes.

Eventually, with ejaculation, the man trained in ESO may also experience a refractory period. But with mutual interest and continued, correct stimulation, he can reenter an emission state of extended orgasm within several minutes or even seconds. His penis may be partly or fully erect then.

Women and men can drop their level of arousal and stop their ESO experience whenever they or their partners decide. They can very quickly reenter ESO within the next twenty-four hours or so, whenever they and their partners choose. Women and men trained in ESO tell us that they continue to feel occasional deep contractions for up to twenty-four hours after extended orgasmic experience. Which is to say, they continue to be aroused above the baseline state and even feel occasional subtle orgasmic contractions as they go about their day-to-day lives. That's why they may begin orgasm almost immediately upon penetration during intercourse or on start of masturbation. This quick reentry into ESO we call the Rapid Orgasmic Response. It catapults you aright back into ESO again.

We should add that people who regularly experience ESO function better than ever, whatever their work. And they're healthier, less irritable, more relaxed, and much happier. Your general level of sexual arousal (and probably your levels of sexual hormones) will remain higher from day to day if you keep up your ESO skills. Then you find even brief sessions of lovemaking more pleasurable.

Most men would prefer their partners not to spit out their semen.


Until the early 1960s—not that long ago, compared to the thousands of years of human history—medical science taught, and almost everyone believed, that human beings could not voluntarily control their heartbeat, their blood pressure, the temperature of their hands, their response to pain. We now know that people can be trained very simply to control all those responses and many more. The discovery was a surprise, late in the history of mankind. The training is now called biofeedback and it's used every day. We use it routinely in our medical practice. If we can learn to influence so many different kinds of bodily responses, why not the orgasmic response too?

More recently the literature of sex therapy has made passing reference to something like extended orgasm in women. Dr. Irene Kassorla's book Nice Girls Do discusses a "maxi orgasm." Dr. Kassorla describes it as "feeling deeper, more concentrated, more intense—after having two or three dozen orgasms, the vagina seems to take over and the orgasms occur in repeated fashion with only moments of rest in between . . . and orgasming for two hours or more. ..."

Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry, in The G Spot, which was published while our book was in press, mention some women who have " 'multiple ejaculatory orgasms,' sometimes lasting up to an hour or more. . . ."

There have been isolated reports in scientific journals (Dobbins and Jensen, 1978, for example) of men who have multiple orgasm without ejaculation.

But despite these reports and hints of something more than ordinary, brief orgasm or than multiple orgasm, we know of no book or journal that describes these intensely pleasurable states in detail or explains, step by step, how to achieve them.

The discovery that both male and female orgasm can be extended for long periods of time was more than a surprise. It was a shock. You may find it hard to believe. Many people do at first. But you don't have to take our word for it. You can see for yourself—by learning ESO yourself. The most intense physical pleasure that human beings ever feel can be extended. With training, you can extend your experience of continuous orgasm to a minute or five minutes or half an hour or more. You need a willing yourself, a helpful partner, a developing sense of trust, and time.


During training make it your goal to take yourself or your partner to a peak of arousal close to ejaculation at least fifteen times, on the average, during a thirty-minute session or for at least fifteen minutes. Go on and train yourself to half an hour. Thirty minutes is a necessary minimum to build up the muscular tension and vasocongestion that is essential for ESO. Once you can maintain hard, pleasurable erection without orgasm for thirty minutes without ejaculating, you will be able to sustain arousal for as long as you want. You'll find as you learn control that you'll stay at higher and higher levels between peaks. Eventually there won't be much decline between peaks and you'll be supplying only very light, subtle changes in pressure and rhythm.

Changing strokes prevents ejaculation. Strong pressure and a heavy stroke are often best at the beginning. Most of the nerve endings in the penis are concentrated in the glans. You may want to supply a steady, stimulating stroke when you're climbing to greater arousal. But change the stroking when you're close. To avoid fatigue, switch hands and positions. That automatically changes the stroke. If the penis is hardening and stiffening, you're doing fine. The more aroused, the more pressure is comfortable. And don't stop until you have given yourself a few minutes to respond. You may be working through resistance and need more time.

After a while, as you work through your resistances and as you learn the teamwork of ejaculatory control, you'll find it easier and easier to be stimulated to very high levels of arousal. You'll find it easier and easier to stay there. You're testing your sensitivity to your level of arousal and your feelings. You're learning that your goal is not to push yourself over that point of no return, but instead to extend your pleasure.


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