“Make sure that steak is nice and tenderized. Work it. Yeah. Stick and move. Stick and move.”
Chocolate testicles are beautiful to look at and wonderful to eat! They make unforgettable food compliment for any party. The chocolate licked from multiorgasmically tunes and seasoned testicles is considered to be the most powerful aphrodisiac and rejuvenator, especially for women.
Well seasoned and freshly tuned man
1-2 tablespoons of your favorite grated high-quality chocolate
Optional: 1/2 teaspoon of your favorite liqueur
.........1. Wash a man, his penis, anus, testicles thoroughly, shave the testicles if they have hair and pat dry with paper towels. Let the man sit at room temperature and masturbate for about an hour-two or more. Best of all, turn your man over onto his back and fill his balls with a lot of multiorgasmic masturbation by your own hands. Jerk your man as much as you can.
.........2. Within an hour of the party, grate 1-2 tablespoons of your favorite chocolate. Or you may just break a piece of your chocolate into small morsels. Melt it in a small metal container slowly, until the chocolate becomes very warm with consistency similar to that of syrup; for melting you use a double boiler, or microwave, or wax-heater. We should heat the chocolate until it just melts and begins to glisten but hasn't actually melted (lost shape) yet, so the residual heat melts the rest of the chocolate. Then take it off the heat and try to stir it. If it stay intact, bring in a little more heat and try again. Once you've got your melted chocolate, it should still be tempered since we didn't bring the temperature high enough to take it out of temper, so your chocolate will retain the shine and snap of the original chocolate:
............2-1. Double boiler. In the top of a double boiler over hot water (not boiling water and don't let the bottom of the bowl touch the water) melt chocolate. Be careful, boiling water may cause steam droplets to get into chocolate which can result in "seizing" (the chocolate becomes stiff and grainy). If you don't have a double boiler you can improvise one by placing a glass or stainless steel bowl over a pot of simmering water.
............2-2. Microwave. In a microwave-safe bowl melt chocolate using either the defrost setting or 10-percent power in the microwave. Microwave for 1 minute, then check and stir. If you need more time, do it in 10-20 seconds intervals and check and stir after each addition of microwave time.
............2-3. Controlled wax-heater. Put temperature up to 40-50 degrees Celsius (104-122 degrees Fahrenheit) and melt some part of chocolate in a metal container.
.........3. Remove from heat and stir the chocolate until being completely melted and nearly all the lumps are gone. A few small lumps are fine, they are better than overheating.
.........4. You may optionally blend in your chocolate a half teaspoon of liqueur. Stir until smooth.
.........5. Let the chocolate cool slightly until it solidifies to a consistency thicker than syrup, but it should not set.
.........6. Make sure the testicles are completely dry. Even a drop of water in the melted chocolate can cause it to "seize" and turn the entire mixture into a grainy mess.
.........7. Grasp the finely erected penis, dip the testicles into the chocolate and swirl in chocolate to partially cover. Keeping the penis give the testicles a little shake as you withdraw them from the chocolate (this will fill in all the cracks and leave a nice even line of chocolate at the base.) When the testicles are completely withdrawn from the chocolate, swirl them in a quick, clockwise motion to let the excess chocolate drip off. Or you can use your fingertip to paint the testicles into the desired thickness and texture of chocolate layer while slightly masturbating penis with other hand.
.........8. Make the man sit down on a edge of a table or chair so that his testicles are freely hanging off and touching nothing. With a fingertip remove chocolate drops and excess chocolate. With a paper towel accurately remove chocolate spots from thighs and the perineum of the man. If it's frost weather the naked man may walk in shoes outside a building for 3-10 minutes. Allow the chocolate dipped testicles to harden a little bit. Although, probably, all the time your chocolate (most brands of chocolate have melting point at 25-33°C or 77-91°F) would stay on testicles (their skin temperature is automatically maintained at 32-35°C or 89.6-95°F) wet but sticky.
.........9. The chocolate dipped testicles are best if licked and sucked within 1-2 hours, serve at room temperature for greatest flavor; while serving the man is masturbated. Multiorgasmically churned semen with chocolate testicles provide you a savoury dessert that is out of this world!
Chefs note: Try to mix grated heat-resistant chocolate (like Callebaut Volcano with its melting point at 55°C or 131°F) with your favorite brand (conventional milk chocolate melts at 29°C or 85°F, dark chocolate melts at 33°C or 92°F) if you wish your prospective chocolate dipped testicles to harden more. Mixing your chocolate with any sort of starch, flour, gelatin, glycerin, coconut oil, food-grade paraffin wax, hydrated lecithin, or shortening is not recommended cause these additives interfere with gentle taste of chocolate.
