<< Transmission of Sexual Mores >>

When we understand the processes by which the sexual mores are stabilized in each social group, and transmitted to each and all of the members of the group, we shall have gone a considerable way toward understanding some of the most fundamental of social phenomena. If we understood the forces which lead some boys to ignore the attitudes and expressed sexual philosophies of their parents, and even of their companions in the community in which they are raised, we should have the key to problems that are basic in genetic psychology. If we knew by what processes a boy acquires the patterns of a social level in which he is not living and into which he will only ultimately move, we should know a great deal more than we do today.

It is a far simpler matter to understand how children acquire their habits in regard to dressing, eating, and other behavioral activities. It is much simpler to discern the processes by which they learn to speak the mother tongue. But since there is a minimum of verbal instruction on matters of sex, since the child is rarely lectured in regard to attitudes on sex, and since it almost never observes adult sexual activity, sex education is a subtle process which, nevertheless, is powerful enough to force most children, somewhere during pre-adolescent or early adolescent years, into becoming conforming machines which rarely fail to perpetuate the mores of the community.

We can record the fact of vertical mobility in the social organization; we can figure statistics on the number of persons who make such moves and the directions in which they move. In all of psychology and sociology there is, however, next to no information on the factors which affect this movement from out of a parental group into a new social status. That a considerable number of individuals should aspire to move into levels that have greater prestige is quite understandable; but that does not explain why certain individuals rather than others are the ones who make these moves. We have been able to show that sexual attitudes and overt experience in sexual activities are closely correlated with the educational and occupational class into which an individual ultimately moves, after he has broken with his parental background but very often before he has ever left the parental home. But this still falls short of identifying the impetus which stirs that individual to make such moves.

As yet we have only hypotheses about the sources of the inspiration which leads this boy to make the break with his parental pattern, and as yet we can only cite specific instances in support of our preliminary thinking. We can point to the father whose contacts with the upper level lead him to associate upper level sexual patterns with upper level success in social and business affairs. His contacts may not affect his own sexual performance, but they may be significant enough to lead him to encourage a pattern for his son which differs from his own. It is probable that the mother is even more often responsible for the boy’s sexual restraint. It is often she who encourages him to associate with proper, well-behaved, and similarly restrained upper level companions. On the other hand, there are cases of boys who make these moves in the face of parental objections. Some boys complete high school only over the parental protest and ultimately go to college without parental support and sometimes in the face of considerable opposition from their homes. The boy’s companions in school, in church, and elsewhere, may take him away from his companions in the community in which he actually lives. Sometimes adults other than the parents have something to do with the boy’s acquisition of new attitudes and ideals. We shall need a great deal of additional information before we can appraise the relative significances of these several sources of influence, and of still others which we may not yet have recognized.

Psychologists and psychiatrists will be inclined to suggest that the beginnings of this conditioning should be searched for in very early childhood, and what few data we do have confirm such a theory. As noted earlier in the present volume (Chapter 5), we have recently undertaken to secure sexual data from very young children and plan to publish a volume concerned entirely with these processes of learning. Although the data are not yet abundant enough to analyze statistically, we can make the following generalizations at this time:

1. Some of the most fundamental distinctions between the social levels are already discernible in pre-adolescents as young as 3 and 4. The ease or embarrassment with which such a child discusses genitalia, excretory functions, anatomical distinctions between males and females, the possibility that there has been self manipulation of genitalia, the possibility that there has been genital exhibition or genital play with other children, the question of the origin of babies, the merely social companionship with his own or the opposite sex, questions about kissing his parents and about kissing companions of his own or of the opposite sex—and kindred items —indicate in practically every instance that the 3- or 4-year old child has already acquired something of the social attitudes on at least some of these issues.

Social approval or disapproval means a great deal to a child of that age. It may not take more than a single adverse experience to make a child feel that he must not expose himself again to the laughter, the specific reprimand, or physical punishment which accompanied his first performance. The disdainful ridicule of other children, the angry withdrawal of companions who disapprove of the child’s overt activity, the nervous amusement of adults, are things that even the 3-year old does not wish to experience again.

Questioned concerning his behavior, the young child may deny that he has ever kissed or been kissed, that he has exposed his genitalia, that he has touched his own genitalia, that he has allowed other persons to touch his genitalia, or that he has touched the genitalia of other children. His denials are made with a nervous haste and apparent discomfort which make it apparent that he wants to leave the subject and not discuss such things further. The history of the army colonel who denied that he had ever had homosexual experience unless it happened at night, when he did not know anything about it, is matched by the history of the 4-year old boy who insisted that no other boys had touched him except when he was asleep. One is concerned not so much with ascertaining the actuality of the child’s overt experience, but rather with getting some measure of the nature of his emotional responses; for in those responses one may learn what values the child has already acquired, and how those values will shape his future behavior.

Table 115. Similarity of sexual frequencies of persons belonging to the same occupational class
Age
Group		Paren-
tal
Occup.
Class		Cases Outlets and Parental Occupational Class
Mean Frequencies, Total Population
Total
Outlet		Mastur-
bation		Nocturnal
Emissions		 Petting
to
Climax		Coitus,
Com-
panions		Coitus,
Pros-
titutes		Homo-
sexual
Subject: Occupational Class 3
Adol.-15 2126 2.68 1.400.06 0.03 0.900.01 0.20
 3 384 3.101.57 0.11 0.041.00 0.01 0.26
  4 1073.62 1.94 0.070.04 1.17 0.010.31
 5 65 3.381.81 0.05 0.031.22 0.01 0.15
16-202 116 3.461.01 0.16 0.041.90 0.16 0.21
  3 3183.50 1.00 0.210.07 1.76 0.170.22
 4 105 3.820.98 0.24 0.062.17 0.10 0.27
  5 643.03 0.88 0.140.05 1.52 0.110.23
Subject: Occupational Class 5
Adol.-15 3 2052.85 2.07 0.270.03 0.22 0.010.16
 4 304 3.002.18 0.28 0.030.29 0.003 0.16
  5 5632.77 2.13 0.310.04 0.08 0.0060.15
 6 98 3.762.74 0.20 0.030.21 0.005 0.45
16-203 201 2.881.57 0.35 0.100.46 0.05 0.27
  4 3052.97 1.64 0.380.11 0.56 0.040.20
 5 516 2.631.68 0.37 0.140.25 0.03 0.14
  6 1003.80 1.94 0.350.12 0.58 0.020.62
21-25 3124 2.73 1.090.31 0.11 0.650.07 0.43
 4 183 2.861.17 0.35 0.140.78 0.06 0.32
  5 2622.32 1.22 0.300.14 0.37 0.060.21
 6 71 3.131.27 0.31 0.210.53 0.03 0.67
Subject: Occupational Class 6
Adol.-15 4 1092.85 2.18 0.330.04 0.03 0.0030.22
 5 228 2.862.17 0.43 0.040.06 0.001 0.09
  6 10482.86 2.29 0.280.05 0.09 0.0050.08
16-20 4111 3.01 1.710.48 0.20 0.290.03 0.27
 5 230 2.721.82 0.47 0.150.16 0.02 0.07
  6 10212.58 1.73 0.380.14 0.23 0.020.06
21-25 498 2.55 1.100.46 0.27 0.440.03 0.27
 5 178 2.561.43 0.43 0.210.32 0.01 0.10
  6 5542.38 1.27 0.370.16 0.39 0.030.10
Subject: Occupational Class 7
Adol.-15 4 743.14 2.56 0.450.04 0.002  0.05
 5 152 2.702.05 0.43 0.060.01 0.0003 0.06
  6 2443.00 2.24 0.440.02 0.12 0.0010.10
 7 414 3.052.39 0.40 0.070.08 0.004 0.07
16-204 75 3.232.21 0.55 0.120.30 0.01 0.03
  5 1552.50 1.60 0.470.17 0.20 0.020.04
 6 246 3.182.17 0.54 0.140.23 0.04 0.07
  7 4163.04 2.12 0.430.18 0.23 0.020.03
21-25 471 2.51 1.370.39 0.17 0.580.01 0.02
 5 143 2.431.18 0.40 0.170.55 0.02 0.05
  6 2362.88 1.38 0.430.23 0.71 0.080.01
 7 266 2.711.51 0.43 0.230.46 0.02 0.02

Emphasizing near identity of histories of subjects who reach the same occupational class,
irrespective of the diverse occupational classes of their parents.
Showing mean frequencies for total populations.
Medians, incidences, data on active populations, standard deviations of means, etc., shown
for same populations in previous tables in this chapter.

Figure 124. Comparisons of sexual patterns of males of same occupational class
but originating from diverse parental classes
Occupational Class:
0. Dependents 1. Underworld
2. Day labor 3. Semi-skilled labor 4. Skilled labor
5. Lower white collar group 6. Upper white collar group 7. Professional group
8. Business executive group 9. Extremely wealthy group

Comparing mean frequency data for the age period 16-20,
for three sources of outlet, for single males of three occupational classes.


2.    Social attitudes are acquired long before the child may know that there is any significance to genital stimulation, much less intercourse. The so-called sex instruction which is given by parents and schools usually consists of a certain amount of information concerning the anatomy and mechanics of reproduction. As far as our present information goes, this has a minimum of any effect upon the development of patterns of sexual behavior and, indeed, it may have no effect at all. Patterns of behavior are the products of attitudes; and attitudes may begin shaping long before the child has acquired very much, if any, factual information.

3.    Traditional attitudes toward heterosexual and homosexual relationships have been apparent in some of the 3- and 4-year old histories. The older pre-adolescent boys from upper social levels, however, were often more willing to admit their homosexual experience, less often willing to admit their heterosexual relationships. It is apparent that the attitudes of companions who consider it sissy to play with girls are predominant factors, both in the development of the child’s attitudes and in the shaping of his overt activity. By early adolescence, however, it is more difficult to obtain homosexual data from an upper level group, and simpler to obtain data of heterosexual contacts. The group has begun to attach values to heterosexuality, it has begun to recognize the taboos which older persons place on the homosexual. It is the attitude of the group that has changed, and not the independent thinking of the child.

4.    The lower level interest in heterosexual intercourse and frank acceptance of it as a pre-marital activity is apparent in the histories of a high proportion of the 7- and 8-year old boys from those groups; and in some instances it is well developed as early as age 4. By ages 7 or 8 the lower level boy knows that intercourse is one of the activities in which most of his companions, at least his slightly older companions, are engaging; and he has already learned that intercourse is one of the things that are considered highly desirable by those companions. Meanwhile, the 10-year old boy from the upper level home is likely to confine his pre-adolescent sex play to the exhibition and manual manipulation of genitalia, and he does not attempt intercourse because, in many instances, he has not yet learned that there is such a possibility.

5.    Children are the most frequent agents for the transmission of the sexual mores. Adults serve in that capacity only to a smaller extent. This will not surprise sociologists and anthropologists, for they are aware of the great amount of imitative adult activity which enters into the play of children, the world around. In this activity, play though it may be, children are severe, highly critical, and vindictive in their punishment of a child who does not do it “this way,” or “that way.” Even before there has been any attempt at overt sex play, the child may have acquired a considerable schooling on matters of sex. Much of this comes so early that the adult has no memory of where his attitudes were acquired.

6.    The mores may be imposed by the children of the community in defiance of the attempts of adults to impose other patterns. Lower level parents may punish their children for attempting intercourse, but the lower level 7-year old assures us with wide open eyes that he cannot understand why his mother should punish him, and he does not consider it wrong to attempt intercourse, because all of the other boys are doing it. Upon securing the history of the boy’s mother, it becomes apparent that the punishment she gave was quite perfunctory, and that deep in her own thinking she does not exactly disapprove of pre-marital sexual relations, anyway. Even when the parents are sincere in their attempts to impose ideas that differ from those of the community, the children may triumph over the parents. Sometimes parents attempt to impose patterns which are stricter than those in the community. Sometimes they attempt to be more liberal, and try to raise the child without having it acquire fears and inhibitions concerning sex. In some cases the parents succeed, but in many cases they do not. In the further study of this problem it will be important to accumulate specific data in such abundance that it will be possible, ultimately, to measure the relative importance of companions, parents, and other adults in the establishment of the child’s attitudes and patterns of overt behavior.

Children are, on the whole, conformists. Their initial experiences with a particular object or event lead them to believe that the world is made in a particular way, and they are likely to conclude that the whole world should be made that way. Any departure in the placement of furniture, in the style of clothing which is worn, in the way in which food is served, or in the schedule of the day—the routine which is followed upon getting up in the morning or upon going to bed at night—may bring protests that “that is not the way to do it.” This is the sort of conformance that children are continually forcing upon each other in regard to all matters, including sex.

7.    The record given in this chapter makes it clear that exceedingly few males modify their attitudes on matters of sex or change their patterns of overt behavior in any fundamental way after their middle teens. Many individuals do acquire certain details of activity in their later years, and some individuals think that they have acquired entirely new attitudes on matters of sex, at some late period in their lives. Upper level individuals like to think that they have become more liberal, sexually emancipated, free of their former inhibitions, rational instead of traditional in their behavior, ready to experiment with anything. It is notable, however, that such emancipated persons rarely engage in any amount of actual behavior which is foreign to the pattern laid down in their youth. Such an individual may publicly discuss his changed attitudes, and may go so far as to engage in such a public display of petting as leads the community to believe that there is considerably more going on; but the actual history is not likely to contain more than a minimum of non-marital intercourse. The upper level male who comes back from an army experience with tales of the wild places where he has been, the freedom of the girls in the tropics, the endless chances he had for experience of every sort, the record of the particular girl with whom he became acquainted in this station, and the girl with whom he got in trouble in another station—may have to admit, when he contributes an objective record to a scientific study, that he never did bring himself to having actual intercourse with a single one of the girls. This is a long way from the sort of promiscuous pattern which is commonplace in lower level histories.

8.    While the behavior of the adult is thus controlled by what he calls his conscience, he is also influenced by such social forces as public opinion. Among adults, this operates in much the same subtle way that community attitudes are passed on to the children. The tone of voice in which gossip is relayed warns the individual to avoid becoming a subject for similar gossip. The care and circumlocution with which certain matters of sex are avoided in books, in the press, and in other public communications, constantly remind the individual of the state of public opinion on these things. Discussions of such things as divorce, marital discord, the sexual scandals of the community, and the gossip about public characters probably have more influence in controlling the individual’s behavior than any specific action that society may take or any legal penalties that are attached to those things.

9.    The church and the other organizations that are chiefly concerned with problems of morals are, basically, the source of a good deal of the sexual philosophy of the community (Chapter 13). On occasion the church specifically condemns departures from its sex code, but more often it depends upon the less tangible concepts of purity, cleanliness, sin, uncleanliness, degradation. The very indefiniteness of these characterizations makes them more inclusive. Each individual categorizes himself in accordance with the standards that are set up. He is often more severe to himself than his fellows would be if they were judging his record. To the religiously devout, moral values are considerable forces. Nevertheless, the patterns of the social levels are even more influential than the mandates of a religion.

10. The written legal codes and the proscriptions of the common law are much less influential in controlling the sexual behavior of the human animal. Patterns of behavior are established long before the child is likely to have any comprehension of the nature of the legal formalization of our codes.

These observations may contribute to our understanding of the fact that individuals in our American society rarely adopt totally new patterns of sexual behavior after their middle teens. It would appear that the changes that do occur represent departures made by pre-adolescent and adolescent children from the patterns of their parents. We have at least progressed in our understanding of social forces when we have recognized these very early years as fundamental in the development of both individual and community patterns of sexual behavior.

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