The Naked Child Growing Up Without Shame
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What does it all mean?
Dennis Craig Smith

    “Have you no modesty, no maiden shame?”
    (William Shakespeare)

    “Every lunch hour, four or five of my sixth-grade buddies would meet by the volleyball court to watch the seventh- and eighth-grade girls play. We watched with excitement, and waited for the right careless movement or for an accommodating gust of wind to lift their dresses and give us a forbidden glance at the mystery of womanhood. More than any of the girls, we watched Diana. She seemed to be teasingly aware of how many times her full, bouncing skirt would rise just enough to reveal the sight we craved. For one titillating brief glimpse of those wicked panties, we would wait for hours, and then swoon breathlessly in fulfillment.

    “It seems so ludicrous now, to think back on all the hours spent in pursuit of a shutter-quick look at somebody’s underwear. But it was serious business in those times. We were consumed with an insatiable hunger, a passion that drove us day and night. It occupied our thoughts constantly. Our schoolwork, our chores, even our games were set aside when an opportunity arose for us to see those forbidden garments.
    “One night, when I was thirteen, I knelt in the bushes outside of my sixteen-year-old neighbor’s house and peeked through a small slit in the curtains to watch her undress. The sight of her standing naked before me my first look at the body of a woman is etched in my memory forever. But that is not all that remains from the experience. The guilt I felt for my aberrance has followed me into adulthood.”
    The previous passage was written by a young adult male who grew up without the openness that many experts have warned us against, sheltered from the supposed trauma that Spock and Brothers warn us will follow if a child is allowed to view his parents nude. But what he says shows that, instead, guilt feeds on the unnecessary mystery associated with the human body.

    In the previous pages, we have listened to many others, both male and female, who were a part of the open environment of a physically casual family structure and/or the social nudist movement, and we did not hear from them about the all consuming passion of physical, sexual curiosity. None of them spoke in similar terms of an all-consuming passion to see bits and pieces of underwear or bodies belonging to the opposite sex. They spoke very little, if at all, of physical, sexual curiosity. It may well have existed, at least in some. We can’t know for sure. But it was not mentioned.
    The experts claim that children will become overly preoccupied with sex if they are allowed to see their parents, as well as other adults, nude. The young man quoted at the start of this chapter said for most of his life he could think of nothing else. He didn’t see his parents nude, he didn’t even know what a woman’s nude body looked like until he was thirteen, but he was — by his own admission — absolutely obsessed with sex. He said that for most of his life he could think of nothing else.
    We do not mention this one individual on the assumption that one case will prove that seeing parents nude is, will be beneficial or that all children in non-nudist environments are equally preoccupied with sex. We don’t know that to be true, but we contend that perhaps the preoccupation with trying to see the genitals of the other sex is more detrimental to emotional growth than being raised in an open physical family situation. What we do contend is it appears possible that it is not good for children to be preoccupied with trying to see the genitals of the other sex because that sight is denied them.

    The experts seem to agree that a child should not be overstimulated sexually. Since we consider that wise, we raise a few questions: Is it more detrimental to emotional growth to spend “all of one’s waking hours” attempting to see the hidden bodies of others than to be raised in a physically open family situation where nudity is taken for granted? Is it not possible that the child who casually learns about other people’s bodies has more time to spend on studies and other pursuits?
    The experts warn about the terrible guilts and frustrations which will develop in a child exposed to nudity. We didn’t find them either in the people we interviewed. We found normal childhood problems of adjustment, but we also found a group of adults seemingly satisfied with themselves, and very willing to raise their children as they were raised, with nakedness as part of their everyday lives.
    We were told that when children saw their parents nude, they would be overstimulated. We found it difficult, hard to quantify overstimulation. But when we spoke to the adults who grew up in a nudist environment, we were told that it was more stimulating for them to go to a regular beach, where everyone wore suits, however, albeit small, than to play volleyball or sun at a nudist park where everyone wore nothing. They said the mystery was gone.
    Consider once again the young man we quoted earlier, who sat at the edge of the volleyball court at his junior high school. He wasn’t interested in the game. He was tremendously stimulated by what he and his friends called “a beaver shot.” a lightning quick glance at the pure white cotton triangle that covered a girl’s genitals. This man said he thought of nothing else. Even allowing for the exaggeration of youth, we can acknowledge that he might possibly have been preoccupied with sex. It appears that facts might serve to prove the “experts” wrong.
    Bonnie Johnston, for example, has been aware of her parents’ bodies since her mother’s breast was her only source of nourishment and her father’s body warmth was the security that put her off to sleep. From what the other Bonnie Johnstons have told us, being loved, and the natural treatment of growing into a woman is the most important dynamic of living within a family unit. Other girls who have grown up surrounded by human nudity tell us that the nakedness is not important as long as it is not banned. They say that knowing they are loved is far more important. Some even mention that they were able to develop into adults without fear or shame because of the nudity that surrounded them. None speak of overstimulation. Whether Bonnie will become overstimulated by the sight of her parents as she enters puberty only time and further study will tell us, but the risk seems, certainly appears to be small.

    Without previous studies to lean on, on which to base their conclusions, the experts told us that children, especially during the years from nine to thirteen, should not be allowed to see their parents nude because it would be harmful to them, “because it just isn’t done.” It seems clear to us now, after five years of study, that this unfounded bias and conjecture has been very misleading, more harmful than even misleading. But, more than that, it has caused real harm to more than one generation of American children. It has been, in a way, something akin to doctors telling women in third-world countries that breast feeding could be harmful and that artificial formula was better for their babies. In light of the effects of that misinformation, it is clear that some warnings by “experts” can be and now seems irresponsible and dangerous.
    This book is not being represented as the definitive study on the effects of social and family nudity in the lives of children. Our claim is only that it is the first. We believe that the research reported in this book has answered a few questions. But it has raised some others that are very vital ones. Our nudist subjects were very open in their discussion of their sexual experiences as adults and even as children. There is some evidence that non-nudists are less willing to speak on such matters, even though they did not grow up unaware of sex. We need to know what is “normal” sexual expression for a child. And, obviously, we need many more studies before we can draw any firm conclusions from the information we have so far gleaned.

    We recognize that it is impossible to draw absolute conclusions regarding “normal” human behavior. We are all so different, and there are so many factors that contribute to our growth. But it is scientifically inexcusable to push aside and refuse to study an issue which, at present, is so overrun with unfounded conclusions and unbridled emotion as is the question of family nudity and its effect on growing children. We have tried to give the reader some information that will help him or her make an informed decision for or against the open lifestyle. We also have tried to arouse in our readers enough curiosity to cause them to continue the investigation for themselves and to demand more studies that will take this issue out of the shadow and into the bright light of day. Only when an assortment of books presenting careful studies on this subject are available for anyone to read can we feel confident that the decisions made by those opposed to family and social nudity are based on fact and not just on frightful fantasies.
    We live in a time when the human anatomy is examined, extolled, studied, and lectured about, and at the very same moment is also exploited, ridiculed, and excluded from social acceptance. We insult ourselves by calling our bodies obscene, pornographic, lewd, base, dirty, immoral, or evil, and in so doing deny the basic truth of our own existence. Our anatomy is us — and it is none of those terrible things.
    We need to take a number of steps back and look at our own image and then decide, in that moment of reflection, why we have so much trouble living with our physical reality. In this self-examination, we can be helped by the experiences of others. There are some families who have learned what Margaret Mead and others were trying to tell us about the need for understanding our natures and not hating our physiology. These singular adults have created in their children individuals more resistant to the negativism of our modern society. They seem at ease with the rigors of living together in a society dependent, as ours is, on our ability to relate to one another with love and understanding.
    This book, and the five-year study it represents, looked at the families who found a way to overcome the fear of exposing themselves, both physically and intellectually, to each other. We asked questions which today’s society faces, and we sought answers among those who have personally reached solutions to our social dichotomy. The authors questioned many nudist boys, girls, men, and women in search of the secret that made them comfortable in circumstances that upset so many of us. What we learned was that the viewing of the unclothed human body, far from being destructive to the psyche, seems to be either benign and totally harmless or to actually provide positive benefits to the individuals involved.
    We look forward to seeing more research that will delve deeper into this discovery which, to say the least, is in total opposition to all that the “experts,” unconcerned with facts, continue to tell us.
    To be able to say for sure about anything having to do with human behavior is very close to impossible, but not to study an issue so rampant with opinion and emotion is scientifically inexcusable. We hope we have given the reader some basics for formulating opinion and enough curiosity to seek out and demand further studies.


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