It is a healthy thing to raise children in a sexual atmosphere that is free of fear and guilt, one in which they accept their bodies and the physiological differences between the sexes in a matter-of-fact way. Such children experiment with their own sexuality and learn from it in a perfectly natural manner, and the knowledgeable parent provides them with the information they need to understand what is happening to them as they grow up.
One of the best opportunities to start children on a healthy understanding of sex and take advantage of it comes when the baby begins to explore his own body and discovers his sex organs. A little boy clutches his penis, and may discover that it is pleasurable to rub it. The girl presses on her genitals and finds the same pleasure. This kind of behavior is commonly observed in infants as young as six months, or even younger.
Most people—girls and boys, men and women—touch or rub their sex organs at one
time or another in their lives. Many people do it frequently. Touching your sex
organs for pleasure is called masturbation. Masturbation is as old as life on the Earth and it is practiced not only in humans but in every animal kingdom as well. Touching feels good.
Before he falls asleep at night, Greg sometimes rubs his penis up and down. He likes the
feeling it gives him—a wonderful feeling that is not like any other. It makes
him feel very excited and then very peaceful and drowsy. Greg’s body and
feelings tell him that getting pleasure from touching his penis is good.
Masturbation may be defined in several other ways, but the one I prefer calls it “a deliberate self-stimulation that results in sexual arousal.”
Masturbation, or sexual self-pleasuring, is so natural and universal that it might be looked on as a state of fully functioning human being. Others define it in a much broader way. They regard it as any kind of self-stimulation giving pleasure, a definition so broad it would include rubbing the nose and riding on a roller coaster.
Most people masturbate, but some don’t have much interest in it. Others have a religious reason for not masturbating. Some people masturbate at certain times in their lives but lose interest at others. Although many young children masturbate, others do not do it at all until they are older.
It is normal to masturbate, and it is normal not to masturbate. Whichever way makes you happy is the right way for you.
Masturbation is another thing that sharply separates boys and girls. Kinsey’s figures showed that by the age of fifteen, about 25 percent of girls had masturbated to the point of orgasm, while the figure for boys was virtually 100 percent. No doubt the figure for girls would have to be revised upward today, with greater knowledge and more sexual freedom. Eventually more than 60 percent of women masturbate (perhaps even a larger number now), but much of it occurs in later life, even in marriage or some other relationship.
For young girls, the average frequency of masturbation was about every two weeks, according to Kinsey’s early figures, but that frequency may well have increased, too. In any case, there’s a great deal of variation. Some girls do it many times a week, others very infrequently.
Most boys learn how to masturbate by hearing about it from other boys, but most girls discover it for themselves. Again, this reflects the fact that boys do much more talking about sex among themselves than girls do. If the figures are still correct, as many as a quarter of the girls who don’t begin masturbating until they’re in their early twenties or older still discover it by themselves. Oddly enough, some girls masturbate for a long time before they realize that’s what they’re doing.
Girls also learn about masturbating from books like this one, or other books, or from other girls, or boys. Less than half the girls learn about it that way, but it’s how three-fourths of the boys find out. About one girl in every ten learns of masturbating as the result of being fondled by a boy, and approximately the same number through seeing someone else do it. Only about 3 percent of girls learn from an experience with another girl, but this figure is much higher for boys. Surprisingly, there are still girls who don’t know it’s possible to masturbate. However it’s learned, the techniques are the same.
Masturbation is by far the most common way a boy or a girl can express himself sexually, and it’s common to
boys and girls all over the world. In particular, young males are really in an almost perpetual erectile state, and masturbation
provides them an intense experience in the release or processing of tension. Nearly all human males masturbate,
and it’s safe to assume that if a boy is approaching adolescence, or is already
in it, he is masturbating with some degree of regularity, and probably has been
for some time. The few who don’t got started in some other kind of sexual activity, such as intercourse, so early in life that they found no reason to masturbate. Other outlets may include fondling (kissing and touching to some degree); actual intercourse with a girl, which happens only with a minority of boys; and homosexuality, or sexual activity between members of the same sex.
Benefits
There are many reasons why masturbation is beneficial. And why masturbation releases tensions and consequently is valuable in many ways that affect both physical and mental health.
First of all, masturbation as a positive sexual experience -- it brings a boy
and a girl much pleasure, especially if they masturbate to orgasm and through
multiorgasm. It
can play a satisfying role in everyone’s sex life from childhood until the last
days. To begin with, it’s a pleasurable and exciting experience, and it produces
feelings that have been enjoyed by people universally from the beginning of
human history.
Another good reason for masturbating is the fact that this benign sexual
activity is so easily available. And it’s available when no one else is present.
And it’s also easy to do, and it requires no special time or place. Anyone can do it,
and it’s the most easily learned of all sexual activities — usually the one
that’s learned first. All you need is privacy.
Learning privacy is a very useful gain. Privacy protects your intense feelings
from being interrupted, harmed, and destructed. Privacy protects your comfort
and self-esteem. In many places masturbation is not against
the law, as long as it’s done in privacy. Only a very young child masturbates in
public before he learns about privacy, but if he’s old enough to know the
difference where he can do it freely and where he can't and does it anyway
everywhere, with full understanding of what he’s doing, then a personality
problem exists that requires gentle help from adults. In some groups,
masturbation is socially and publicly acceptable and even welcome. You may
freely masturbate in your family or with your friends when you are learning or
sharing experience, or you may be encouraged to masturbate in some homes or in
front of guests because it may be an extremely great and energetic performance.
In other circumstances keep your show exclusively for yourself and others who
really appreciate and enjoy it
Other benefit of masturbation is that there’s no danger of venereal disease or of pregnancy, and masturbation does no harm to a child or anyone else, since it is a strictly solitary activity, a private matter. It is
not harmful to rub your sex organs for pleasure. No physical harm can come from it, no matter how frequently it’s done.
If there’s physical harm at all in masturbating, it’s an occasional local
irritation caused by a great deal of friction, or an even more infrequent minor
infection caused by dirty hands or toys. Wash your hands and genitals and toys
carefully before you are going to play with yourself. Because the area between
buttocks is often use for fondling during masturbation, use soap and water
outside and around the anus to cleanse this highly sensitive erogenous area
after each defecation.
Another positive relationship, established statistically, is the one between the age of starting masturbation and the age at which erection and ejaculation can still take place, often with surprising frequency. Early masturbators are sexually vigorous as adults well into their sixties, seventies, and even beyond.
Generally speaking, boys and girls who start having sex the earliest — sex of some kind, that is — are the ones most likely to have the longest active sex lives and to have the most sex when they’re older. That doesn’t mean, however, that if you start out deliberately to have a lot of sex when you’re young that you’ll be guaranteed to have a lot when you’re older. It means simply that bodies are different from each other, although may be also developed and trained to some degree, just as with multiorgasmic experience. Some people are more highly endowed with the ability to perform sexually throughout their lives. Others need more time and persistence to acquire desired qualifications and qualities.
Masturbation teaches a boy and a girl how to have an orgasm and multiple
orgasms, in the most simple, direct, sharp and intense way possible, so it will
be easier for him and her to keep on multiorgasmic experience when they do
have intercourse. Doing masturbation permits you to learn how your own body
reacts, and allows you to experiment with yourself so that you can more easily
teach someone else the things that make you feel good sexually.
How do boys do it
Probably, a boy thinks everyone else does it the same way he does, but actually there’s a great deal of variation.
The most common way, practiced by most boys, is to make a fist around the
penis, to hold the penis in the fist, and then to jerk up and down with a vigorous stroking movement. A boy may pull his thumb finger upwards and rub with its cushion the glans of his penis while his grip is stroking up and down. As the boy becomes more tense and aroused, and a buildup of sexual pressure and excitement occurs, the stroke may become faster and faster until orgasm results. Or the boy may approach and go through his unlimited multiple orgasms on more relaxed and attentive manner.
Since the most sensitive parts of the penis are at the tip and at the point where the head meets the shaft, some boys employ a less vigorous method, using their fingers to stroke
just the head of penis, increasing the motion until it is very rapid and orgasm occurs.
A minority of boys, probably no more than 5 to 10 percent, lie on their bellies and use a pushing motion to rub the penis
and testicles against the bed or a pillow, in a movement like intercourse itself. Younger boys use this method more often.
Multiorgasmic exercising.
Some boys use all these methods, doing it one way, then another way next time, or employing all three methods in the same session. Usually, though, boys tend to fix on one method and don’t often depart from it — for example, always using the right hand, or the left, or sometimes one hand and then the other.
It’s also possible to use various objects for masturbation. Most common is a toilet-paper tube or some other round object — a bottle with a wide mouth, for instance. Sometimes a boy uses a condom — a “safety,” a “rubber,” or a rubber contraceptive — which simulates the female vagina. In that case, the feel of the rubber enclosure is an approximation of the female vagina, although this isn’t likely to satisfy a boy who has had actual intercourse.
Boys often think that whatever method they use is peculiar to them, maybe even something they’ve invented, and are quite surprised to learn later that others are using the same technique, whatever it is. In the search for sexual pleasure, the human male has thought of just about everything. Many try and some even like to insert a finger or a smooth and lubricated stick in the anus while they masturbate. Others even try to insert something into the end of the penis. That is usually quite painful because the inside of the penis is very sensitive. Most boys who try it do it only once or twice and quit because of the pain. A few persist, and after the tissue inside the penis becomes a little tougher, they are able to do it regularly, and get pleasure from it. There is danger in this method, however. The object, whatever it may be, may well carry germs inside and cause an infection, or it may be pushed inside too far and will have to be removed surgically.
The most common error is to only and always do the same old, same old. So make a
pitch for some variety. Changing things up a bit is good for your libido, just
as it is in sex with a partner. It also gives you a chance to discover all that
works for you, and what works best. So experiment with varied and consistent
pressure; varied and consistent rhythm; emphasis on the downstroke and the
upstroke; using lube, and not. Try concentrating stimulation on the head of the
penis, one hand on the head and the other on the shaft. Or, using one hand to
press down on the base of the penis and the other to move up and down on the
shaft. Stroke or tug the testicles, or stimulate the nipples or anus at the same
time as you are working the penis. Touch yourself not on your genitals.
Stimulate other erogenous zones. Try different positions. Use porn, or
fantasy—or stay present with yourself in the moment. You might just learn a
really good trick or two by branching out from time to time.
You want to allow yourself time for plenty
of warm-up, and plenty of side trips, but when you get down to business there
are a lot of options you’ll want to explore:
• Rub the penis directly with a finger, fingers, or your whole hand.
• Play with a variety of strokes: soft to hard, slow to fast, up and down, around and around...
• Massage the glans of penis indirectly by rubbing the skin above and around it.
• Press the penis against an object, such as a pillow.
• Try a vibrator, on or around the glans of penis.
• Use water to stimulate the penis, such as from a handheld showerhead.
• Rub the perineum (area between anus and scrotum), anal
area (around where you pee!), and/or the scrotum.
• Penetrating the anus with a finger, fingers, dildo, or vibrator
• Stimulating other erogenous zones (nipples, inner thigh, buttocks,
nipples...)
• Different positions, like sitting, squatting, or standing
• Masturbate in different areas of your home, in the bath or shower,
on a bed or floor, on cooled fry-pot or stove, while reading erotica, or fantasizing,
or watching yourself in the mirror, absolutely nude or or partly clothed.
At some time or other, it occurs to most boys to try to put their penises into and inside their own mouths. Only about one in every hundred boys can do it and succeeds; for the others it is anatomically impossible, as they soon discover to their frustration. Those who achieve it don’t usually adopt it as their major method of masturbation.
In short, it doesn’t matter what method is used as long as no injury is caused to the penis, or no infection is introduced into it. Neither does it matter how often it’s done.
Delay
We don’t hear much about one aspect of masturbation, but it ought to be mentioned because it has such a direct bearing on a boy’s later sex life. When he begins to have intercourse, he often encounters a common problem — that is, delaying his ejaculation until the girl has her orgasm. Most girls take longer than boys do; consequently a boy may find it helpful to learn to delay his own orgasm when he masturbates during adolescence. It’s not only helpful in that way but obviously adds to his own pleasure.
Sometimes you are rushing it, like someone is giving out a prize for how fast you can make yourself come.
Unless nobody gives you a big-big prize for fast coming—take and enjoy your time. Just getting off is not the same as cultivating your sexual energy, and the latter is what you
are aiming for.
If he makes no attempt to delay, a boy finds himself coming in anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. A delay of five to ten minutes, or even longer, if he can learn to do it, will probably be useful later on in intercourse.
Too much
It’s common for boys to think they’re doing it too much, but “too much” is a purely arbitrary phrase, with no meaning. As far as frequency is concerned, most boys naturally masturbate a great deal in their adolescence and even pre-adolescence, as the powerful sex urge boils and bubbles in them. When they develop a sexual relationship with another person, or possibly several others, masturbation then becomes less important, although many still practice it from time to time if something turns them on and they’re alone. Recently both men and women have learned that masturbation of various kinds can be a satisfying part of intercourse.
In later life, in the middle years, there seems to be renewed interest in masturbation, which may continue for some time. Thus masturbation makes a complete cycle. A boy “comes on strong,” as the saying goes today, in his adolescence, masturbates less as a rule in their twenties, thirties, and forties, then at some later date, returns to it again with renewed interest and for an encore.
Practically, a person can not masturbate too much. It isn’t possible to
masturbate to “excess,” as doctors once believed. The body knows what “excess”
really means. A person’s body tells him or
her when it is time to stop. It sets its own limits. Masturbating just doesn’t feel
so much good anymore at that
time. Or when a boy has masturbated a great deal, he will be temporarily unable
to have an erection. That means he has reached his particular limit for the time
being; the body has to rest for a while. When your body is ready again, you may feel like it again.
A young body may restore itself very quickly. Anyway, a boy knows when it’s
restored because he’ll be able to have an erection again.
Masturbation does not make you lose interest in the opposite sex, nor does it make boys run out of semen.
If something of that happens to you, if masturbation depletes sexual energy and
may leave you tired (especially in the late afternoon) and with weaker orgasms,
if you think you overdo, -- just take a rest.
However, when you masturbate a great deal you may
misuse it, which means using it in a way that decreases connection or drains
energy—like falling into a pattern of masturbating instead of giving pleasure to
your partner (not counting when you are apart or when your partner is not
interested). A boy may miss the opportunity for other sexual experiences that aren’t solitary. They may fail to learn about being intimate with other people
too, and that is one of the most important things in life.
And if masturbation is practiced without orgasm as the end result, it can be
physically and emotionally frustrating. Stopping short of orgasm may leave boys
and girls momentarily frustrated and uneasy, with a good deal of congestion in
their genitals. A boy may get an ache in the groin if he keeps erection for a long time and fondles himself or is fondled almost to the point of orgasm without doing it and as in a result his sexual tension is left unrelieved. Because these aches are in his testicles, a boy calls this condition “stone ache,” or “lover’s nuts,”
or “blue balls”. An ache in the groin because of unrelieved sexual tension also may happen to girls. In both sexes the cause is congestion leading to muscle contraction, and the aching of these contracted muscles causes pain.
That will no doubt may be uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to worry about. It
isn’t serious and can be quickly relieved by masturbation through orgasm or
multiorgasmic session. And factually that pain is rare. Most boys ejaculate or
milk and multiorgasmize when they masturbate, and most girls enjoy their
orgasmic experiences when they find out that pleasure too.
Draw
Many boys learn how to work themselves up nearly to the point of orgasm, then
slow down and hold back for a while, continue until they nearly come once more,
and so on until the orgasm is delayed indefinitely. For beginners this technique
helps delay and control ejaculation. Some learn to wait for a half hour or more, a much longer time than would usually be required in actual intercourse.
Often boys intensify and rev up their masturbatory play gradually and slowly building toward a powerful orgasm.
They start with a sort of
cautious warm-up exercises with emphasis on highlighting genital sensations
before immerse themselves into continuously boiling and expanding pleasure. With
this kind of holdback, a man eventually starts experience orgasms, but doesn’t ejaculate—and
retains his erection for further disposition, so he can go back for more of the same. A boy extends
orgasms—until he lasts up to five minutes each!—and eventually becomes a
multiorgasmic. At least that’s what he does after years of serious practice.
All you do is bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm or ejaculation, using whatever method you are in the mood for—then back off
on cooling off a bit. Coast for a few moments, until you feel you are back to more like halfway there, then go back to the brink ... and back off again.
Learn stopping a little bit further back from the edge, and gradually build up
to stopping right at the edge:
• Pause. Just stop what you’re doing for a minute.
• You don't have to just stop. Change the stimulation you’re getting
to something that won’t move you so quickly to ejaculation. Adjust to something
else that feels good but isn’t moving you toward the edge. Move more slowly or more shallowly. Or change angles, or make circular motions rather than in-and-out thrusting.
• Slightly stroke, pet and pull your testicles, perineum and
anus. Slightly massage the area located halfway between the anus and the
scrotum.
• Take a deep breath. Remember to hold your breath. At orgasm you automatically go into short, shallow breaths. If you breathe short and shallow, you will hasten rather than forestall orgasm. If you start breathing short and shallow on automatic pilot, you are on the edge and now is a good time to put on the brakes. Right now. And taking big, slow, deep breaths for a few moments will create a little space between you and the edge.
• Draw and move energy from your testicles and pelvis to and
beyond the crown of your head arching your back.
• Relax the muscles in your pelvis. When relaxing the muscles in your pelvis, it is the ones around the penis
and the prostate you most want to target.
• Keep your feet and pelvic area at fresh air and cool. You are 30 percent more likely to
fall into ejaculation if your feet and pelvis are under very warm cover.
A multiorgasmic boy exercises and handles himself to become more relaxed,
attentive, cautious, and sensitive as he is approaching his climax. He is gently
and confidently humping and wriggling to overcome, spread, and disperse all over
his body wave-like urges to orgasmize and to ejaculate. And he is able to turn
his blowing and blasting orgasm into booming and impetuous multiorgasmic joy and
fly that he lasts as long and as high as he wishes. The payoff is the same:
intensified orgasms. This strengthens, energizes, and heals the body.
Boys are very excited about learning to orgasm without ejaculating.
This works by inhibiting the contractions that move semen through the urethra for ejaculation, slowing the rate at which the prostate empties,
so it extends orgasm, as well as intensifying it. It weakens energy flow to the
penis, sends energy up the body, and helps maintain energy balance. Orgasm without ejaculation conserves precious sexual energy when
males masturbate
to orgasm and through multiorgasm, protecting both libido and erectile
performance.
To be multiorgasmic you circulate and draw your orgasmic energy within your
body rather than releasing it. When using with masturbation, you also move
energy up without sending it back down to the genitals, where it may get lost or
stagnate.
While you are overcoming, drawing and transforming your ejaculatory urges during
orgasm, firmly keep, pull, and caress your testicles with one hand and gently,
aptly stroke your penis with another hand. Draw energy away from the pelvis and
upward and recycle it (rather than let it go out with the semen). All what you
are doing should help you to balance and move through your arousal waves without
falling into ejaculation. When your juices are coming, keenly milk yourself, accurately
hold your erection, softly churn you milk to dry, and do not ejaculate.
You can also help yourself with deep or delayed breathing, or simply focus your attention to the top of your head as a way of drawing
red-hot and white-hot orgasmic waves upward. Visualize the energy going up to your head, and you would actually feel it. The technique is so powerful that eventually you would just think about drawing energy up from your testicles and perineum to your head when you want to last longer.
Or you may make your glans of penis
your exclusive focus, and it becomes one of keys to be able to go through long
and diverse multiorgasmic session. Place your attention where you want your
energy to go. Where your mind goes, your energy follows. Focus on your breath, or
on the sensations you are experiencing in your body the connection you are
creating, or on your flying over ejaculation into unlimited orgasmic draws. Another good strategy for just after
temporal interruption is to rub your hands together until they are warm and place them on your lower abdomen, letting their heat radiate into your pelvis.
Tension
Masturbating a lot does not do any harm, but it may be a sign that you are
trying to make yourself feel better when you are tense or unhappy about
something.
Both boys and girls often masturbate because of a conflict in their lives that isn’t sexual. If they’re bored or frustrated or lonely or have a poor opinion of themselves, or if they don’t know how to get along with the opposite sex and think they can’t make sexual contacts with others, or if they’re in constant conflict with their parents or feel under heavy pressure at school — any one of these conditions may cause boys and girls to masturbate more than they might otherwise. It’s true that masturbation temporarily relieves tension, whatever its cause, but if the primary reason for masturbating is nonsexual, a girl or a boy needs solve the problems that can be straightened out. In that case, it is more important to try to get help with that
problem than it is to worry about masturbating.
If a boy studies his own masturbation habits, he’ll observe that he’s more likely to masturbate during times of tension and anxiety, like the period before examinations or when he’s worried about some other problem. Then it becomes a good thing because masturbation is one of the best reducers of tension. Some athletes even do it before games if they are excessively anxious or tense. There’s no truth in the old idea, still believed by many coaches and trainers, that masturbation makes a boy “weaker” and therefore less able to compete. I knew a track star who went out and set a national record within an hour after he had masturbated.
There’s another side of that coin, though. As everybody in sports knows, tension can be helpful to an athlete in giving his best performance; there’s such a thing as being too relaxed. Team members, in fact, are brought along carefully by the coaches to a peak of group tension before a game. It’s only when there’s too much tension, enough to hinder performance, that masturbation can be a help.
How do girls do it
Most boys with the usual amount of curiosity wonder whether girls masturbate. They do, although maybe not quite so much as boys. Most females do so at some time during their lives, and today, when women are much more conscious of their sexuality and feel more free to express it, the number is probably quite high. In earlier estimates, less than a third of girls were supposed to have masturbated at all by age fifteen, when nearly all boys were doing it, but today this figure would have to be revised upward substantially because of greater knowledge and acceptance.
Girls have more ways of masturbating than boys do, but most of them do it in basically much the same way. They have a fleshy organ that is like a miniature penis, located just above the entrance to the vagina (where the penis is inserted in intercourse). It’s called the clitoris. Looking like a small pea at the end of a slit, it’s sexually very sensitive to the touch. Stimulated by a finger or hand, it becomes erect and eventually the girl has an orgasm, just as the boy does, except that she doesn’t secrete any semen.
Recent studies show that no two women practice masturbation exactly alike. Most don’t concentrate on the clitoris alone but stimulate the whole area of the sexual organ, because it’s painful for them to manipulate the clitoris directly with too much pressure or for too long a time.
Most girls use the finger or the whole hand while either lying on their backs or perhaps sitting up. They center on stimulation of the clitoris, and most girls masturbate by rubbing it or the part of the vulva immediately around it. A girl usually moves a finger or several fingers, or perhaps her whole hand, gently and rhythmically over this section, sometimes supplying steady and increased pressure as she builds toward orgasm. She may also use the heel of her foot or some other object placed against the area. For some girls, only a gentle pressure is needed. Others need to apply so much pressure that it takes one hand on top of another to accomplish it. It’s also done while lying on the stomach, with one hand underneath placed over the vulva and a finger manipulating the clitoris.
Girls are lucky. Since the clitoris is located between folds of flesh, it can also be stimulated in a way impossible for a boy. Some girls like to do it in the bathtub, or under the shower, using the stream from a faucet or a needle shower directed against the sensitive clitoris and letting a stream of water flow. Others do it by crossing their legs tightly and exerting a steady and rhythmic pressure on the whole genital area by swinging one of legs. She produces an orgasm by rubbing her thighs together against the clitoris. The advantage of this method is that it can be done in airplanes, buses, or other public conveyances, or in the classroom, or virtually anywhere else. A girl swing her crossed legs to cause the pressure, or she can do it even less noticeably by rhythmically tightening and relaxing her thigh muscles. It can also be done by lying facedown, with buttocks moving rhythmically against each other, and with legs either crossed or uncrossed. Whether a girl puts something beneath her when she uses this method — a pillow or part of the bedclothes — doesn’t matter, since it isn’t the stimulation of something pressing against the sex organ that brings her to orgasm, but the muscular tension in her body, like that developed in the motions of intercourse. Some girls also do it by rubbing themselves against objects — stuffed animals, for instance, that they take to bed, or furniture in the room, like the arm or the corner of a chair. Some like to lie on their stomachs and place a bunched-up sheet or blanket between their legs, rubbing against it to attain orgasm. Or they may lie on their stomachs, or on a partner’s genitals or buttocks, or on a pillow or with bedclothes between their legs, rubbing the clitoris against the object to attain orgasm.
Other ways of building up this muscular tension include climbing up a pole or a rope, or even chinning on parallel bars. About 50 percent of women also discover that their breasts are erotically sensitive. Approximately one girl in ten stimulates her breast with one hand while she rubs her clitoris with the other. Few girls, however, can achieve orgasm by breast stimulation alone.
About 20 percent of girls insert something in their vaginas to masturbate, but not many do this regularly. The most common object inserted is one or more fingers. When she does that, a girl pulls her hand up against the top of the organ so that the clitoris and the labia minora are stimulated at the same time. A few girls get more satisfaction out of deep vaginal penetration than they do from stimulating the clitoris, but the number is small. They use objects to stimulate themselves — flashlights, bananas, cucumbers, or round cylinders — and insert such an object into their vaginas like a penis and push it in and out vigorously.
Most boys believe that inserting something is the way girls masturbate, because they think only in terms of the penis being inserted into the vagina. It’s hard for them to understand that the girl’s area of erotic stimulation is her clitoris, not the vagina.
A variety of other techniques are available, including the use of a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris and the area around it. Some insert objects into the anus. Vibrators are a very effective way for girls to achieve orgasm, and this method is becoming much more common. There’s no danger of getting “hooked” on it, as some people mistakenly believe, so that a girl can’t achieve an orgasm any other way.
About 2 percent (2/100) of girls are able to have orgasm by means of conscious fantasy alone. Only one boy in a thousand (1/1000) is able to do this.
If no attempt is made to delay the speed of orgasm, the average girl has a climax in less than four minutes, although some do it in only a few seconds. In intercourse, as we’ve seen earlier, males often have some trouble holding back their orgasms until a girl is ready, and I’ve advised boys to learn how to delay it and to become multiorgasmic. They can practice doing that in masturbation, and for the same reason it’s good for girls not to delay orgasm, especially multiorgasm when they masturbate, even if they find they can go on and on and have two or much more orgasms in succession.
When boys begin to masturbate, about the time they enter puberty, they tend to keep on doing it regularly until some other kind of sexual activity begins. But even after they get around to fondling girls and having intercourse, they continue to masturbate regularly, although with decreasing frequency.
Girls, however, tend to be much less regular about their masturbation. They may do it a great deal for a period of time, maybe as often as twenty times a week or once a day for two months. Then they’ll suddenly stop for a longer period of time. The stopping can be the result of guilt feelings, but more often it simply results from a lack of interest. For quite a few girls, there seems to be an absence of sexual desire, with no pressure building up because of a lack of sexual activity, as there is with boys, so that an orgasmic explosion has to occur. That’s why girls find it hard to understand this kind of pressure in boys. Similarly, boys find it incomprehensible that girls can take sex or leave it alone so easily.
Fantasies
Another part of masturbation we don’t hear much about is the fantasy or daydream that usually accompanies it,
especially in adolescent males. It is normal to have daydreams and sexy ideas.
Most people have daydreams about sex now and then. Masturbation significantly develops and promotes a fantasy life, an important part of human sexuality.
Oddly enough, many boys worry unnecessarily over what they think about while they’re masturbating. Why do they worry? Fantasy is a harmless and healthy kind of sexual outlet, which harms no one and adds dimension to the sexual life.
Fantasy enriches an individual’s sex life by offering variety of sexual
experiences. It provides a full outlet for all kinds of sexual activities a boy
might never perform in reality. Fantasy often accompanies all sorts of sex acts
as well and enhances them. People ought to feel free to let their minds as well as their bodies go, without inhibition.
The sex urge is very powerful, and when a boy is excited, he’s likely to have sexual thoughts about all kinds of things that ordinarily he wouldn’t think of at all.
A kid daydreams about doing something he would not feel right about doing in
real life. Later the memories of what he thought may horrify him and make him feel guilty or afraid when he recalls them again after he ejaculates. It may help to know that most boys have one or more of these fantasies at one time or another, and having them doesn’t mean they’re abnormal or that they’re losing their minds or that they should feel guilty for having them.
What are some of these fantasies? Remember, not every boy has them — many are afraid to, or haven’t learned how, or don’t have a very rich fantasy life at any time.
Boys and girls think about going out on dates, hugging, kissing, or having sex. For instance, they may imagine making love with a teacher, a friend of their parents, even a relative.
For example, a five or eight-twelve years old boy may easily dream about been
licked and touched all over his private parts by an older girl or any adult he's
communicating with now. All these dreams are involuntary, and a boy can do
little with them until he changes surroundings, or turn his attention into
something really interesting to him, or makes a long walk.
Fantasy, or daydreaming, takes many forms during masturbation. It happens just as easily when a boy is sitting at his desk in school, or walking home, or doing anything else. Some boys get their daydreams from stories they’ve been reading or pictures they’ve looked at. Often they make up their own stories or pictures and center on things they’d like to do sexually. Often boys are so imaginative in their daydreams that they think of things they would never do or even contemplate doing in reality.
What girls think about while they masturbate is another difference between the sexes. A third don’t appear to think of anything except the sensation itself. If a girl fantasizes at all, she usually thinks only of sexual experiences she’s already had. For example, a girl who has only kissed a boy and never gone further will usually fantasize kissing when she masturbates. A boy in the same situation will probably think of intercourse. Girls tend to fantasize about more general things, like living with a boy, or lying down with him, or being in some romantic setting. Boys are much more specific. They develop scenarios of sexual activity, and the genitals are almost always greatly involved in their fantasies.
Girls who don’t have specific sexual fantasies sometimes find them disturbing when they do occur. They might think about having intercourse with a teacher, or with their father or brother, or they imagine they’re prostitutes, or that they’re being raped. The only harm in such fantasies is a feeling of guilt. Like other daydreams, sex fantasies are part of normal living and should be regarded that way.
Boys have even more elaborate fantasies. Not only do they sometimes imagine having sex with a teacher, or their sister, or even their mother or father, but they may imagine an extended and elaborated orgy with several girls and boys, or perhaps only boys. At other times, they may think, too, of having sex with a particular girl or boy or even a grown man or woman, of forcing someone else to have sex with them, or of being forced themselves.
When males and females become aroused sexually, they may often receive sexual pleasure from slightly painful sensual play they give someone else or receive from someone else. They enjoy moderate nibbling, biting, and scratching when they’re doing these things, and also when it’s being done to them. Other times they enjoy being a little bit spanked or beaten, whipped, humiliated, tied down, or given similar treatment. Or they may enjoy doing these things to someone else. It isn’t uncommon for boys to fantasize or think of such activity when they masturbate, or at other times. There’s no cause to worry about such thoughts. It’s only when some of these fantasies are put into practice that there’s cause to worry.
There’s nothing wrong with fantasies about forcing, although it would be very wrong if the fantasies were ever carried out. I’ve never known a woman who consciously wanted to be raped, and certainly women would resist it in real life if resistance was possible, yet rape fantasies are quite common among girls and women.
Fantasies about being raped by women are favorable in boy’s and man’s fantasies during masturbation. What does a woman do when she rapes a man? Some young males don’t know, except in a general way. The word means “to have intercourse by force.” There are all kinds of possible force. If a woman pins a man down with her body and struggles with him for a long time until he gives in, and then has intercourse with him against his will, that’s rape, whether they’re strangers or have some kind of relationship. “Acquaintance rape” seems to be much more frequent. Again, the use of a weapon to threaten a man into submitting is also rape. When he’s engaged into such fantasies, a boy always knows beforehand that he’ll be raped.
During masturbation some boys enjoy dreaming of being a male multiorgasmic
prostitute or a sex everlasting slave, and one lady owns, manages him and
mercilessly forces him to work without break, and each customer pays a lot of
money for the privilege of having the endless boy milk, orgasmize, and
masturbate. Others fantasize different situations when they by themselves or
impersonalized into other heroes of adventures are endangered of being
castrated. For sure, none of these boys would like to be really castrated.
Castration is the removal of the gonads -- testicles of males, or ovaries of the
female. The gonads are the main source of hormones, so that when a prepubescent
or adolescent boy is castrated, there is no growth of hair on the face, the rest
of the hair on his body becomes fine and silky, his voice remains high like that
of a preadolescent, he cannot ejaculate, and often he can’t get an erection. The
equivalent operation in females, also called castration, is removal of the
ovaries, which makes them unable to have children although it does not produce
the same side effects as in males, and after all females never fantasize of been
castrated.
A kid may worry about daydreams or fantasies, but they are absolutely normal.
These daydreams needn’t be (and usually aren’t) any more harmful than the common daydreams boys have about being the best baseball player in the world or becoming a millionaire, or any other kind of daydream that’s beyond the limits of reality. The only harm that can come from them is guilt, or worry because of having such daydreams. This is an important lesson: Don’t confuse fantasy with reality.
The important thing to remember is that thinking about something and actually
doing it are very different. A boy knows he has one chance in several million of becoming the world’s greatest baseball or football player, and when he isn’t daydreaming, he knows those are the odds. Just the same, he likes to imagine it sometimes. Your daydreams are your private property. You can have them in private without feeling guilty.
Obviously boys have a more elaborate fantasy life than girls. That’s the way it is with whatever fantasy a boy has when he’s masturbating. That’s only natural because they’re more preoccupied with sex. In either sex, chances are small that any of these masturbation fantasies will ever be carried out. The odds against the possibility that any of these fantasies might ever come true are extremely high, but it’s exciting to think about them while he’s doing it. They simply add to the excitement, often because what’s being fantasized is forbidden. When girls or boys come back to the real world after masturbating and stop fantasizing, they’re as much able to deal with reality as ever, and no harm is done.
Sexual dreams
One source of sexual feeling I haven’t covered until now is the activity
resulting from sexual dreams. This is far more prevalent among boys than girls.
Few teen-age girls have orgasm when they’re asleep, although it’s not uncommon
in older women (nearly half of them do), but the percentage among teen-agers is
small. The sexual dreams girls have are about the same as the fantasies they
have when they masturbate, and the same differences in the content of girls’ and
boys’ dreams exist as in fantasy.
Masturbation is the most common sign of early adolescence in boys. Not only do they now begin to masturbate more frequently, but their parents may be aware of it because of the tell-tale spots on the sheets as the boy begins to ejaculate. Inhibited parents who don’t want to think about the whole subject may put this evidence down to “wet dreams,” which they have probably heard about. Some popular sex literature and even some scientific articles have encouraged the belief that the nocturnal emission, or wet dream, occurs before boys begin to masturbate. The reverse is true; boys masturbate before they have wet dreams.
A boy may wake up some night or in the morning to discover that he’s had an ejaculation while he was asleep. Some boys may be alarmed by this if they’ve heard the myth that loss of semen during sleep is somehow damaging. A “wet dream” is simply the result of sexual excitement caused by dreaming, which eventually reaches a climax with the emission of semen. It isn’t an automatic substitute for intercourse, as some think, or even a means of relieving sexual tension; in fact, it may even follow sexual intercourse. It occurs much less often with girls, but they too can be aroused to the point of orgasm by what they’re dreaming.
Attitudes
The attitude towards masturbations significantly influences future sex life. Boys who masturbate with
accompanying fear, guilt, and anxiety about what they are doing may have
difficulty with too-rapid ejaculation in later life, for if they masturbate
hastily and fearfully, anxious not to be discovered by disapproving, wrathful
parents, they will establish as boys a pattern, of quick ejaculation. Boys who
fear being discovered by their parents or others also struggle with guilt
conflicts, and that is not a healthy state of mind. Boys who
masturbate without such fears learn to prolong the experience eventually into
multiorgasmic session, and to enjoy the sensations from it; consequently, they
are able to prolong intercourse as adults, and to achieve happier sex lives, and
are not prone to the problem of premature ejaculation that troubles so many
adult men.
In our complicated society, both girls and boys learn early that people differ in their attitudes about masturbation. In accepting their own sexuality — particularly masturbation — boys and girls understand the attitudes of other people. With understanding comes toleration of other viewpoints. Those attitudes aren’t going to change overnight, and outright rebellion only aggravates situations that are better avoided. Parents, either directly or by their unspoken attitudes, may let their child know they believe it’s wrong or harmful to his or her health, or both. Even if the adults don’t take any of these attitudes, they often still shrink from encouraging masturbation by calling it something positive and good.
But what is about the parents’ fear that a child will embarrass them in front of other people by masturbating, urinating, defecating, or displaying some kind of promiscuous sexual behavior? What’s about the fear that if they talk to their child about sex, is they try to explain some things, their son or daughter may entertain company by repeating what he or she has been told? Well, one of the most essential points in sex education, is to help a child to understand the difference between public and private, between what people do alone and what they do with others. There are both words and acts, he’s learning to understand, which are private. Once he accepts this idea, the problem will not exist except for the inevitable mistakes, which are going to occur no matter what is done or not done about sex education.
The period of exploration is a healthy and natural time. A child clutching at the genitals is absolutely not in the same relative position, morally, as the physically endangered child who reaches out to touch a hot stove.
Attitudes can be changed if we understand them and want to change them. For example, most parents would not dream of washing their child’s mouth out with soap if he used a four-letter word in front of them, but their parents would have done so. Sometimes the understanding begins to come about when we see an attitude toward sex demonstrated that is far different from what we have known, especially if it occurs in a non-threatening situation. The best example I know is the story of a woman who was having coffee with a friend one day in the friend’s dining room when the friend’s four-year-old son suddenly appeared, completely nude and with his penis erect, in hot pursuit of the family cat.
The mother watched, unperturbed, as the chase disappeared into the living room, and observed calmly, “Manly little boy, isn’t he?”
The Boy Who Walks by Himself.
Parents have an opportunity to test their attitudes about sex in dozens of ways in the context of everyday life. The parents’ discovery of masturbation by their children is perhaps the most common test. Attitudes toward sex are also evident in such simple everyday activities as bathing the children. Here is a good opportunity for the most relaxed and easy kind of sex education — letting children discover, explore, and accept the differences between the sexes in an atmosphere of family closeness.
When I tell these things to some parents, they say, severely, “You’re much too permissive. If we let children think that masturbation, sex play, and nudity are perfectly okay, they’ll do what they feel like doing in front of guests or on the front lawn or anywhere else they happen to get the urge.”
Not, I reply, if the children are taught that some things people do are public and other things are private. Some things you do in certain places, like the bedroom or the bathroom, and in private, but other things you may do in public. This distinction is not at all difficult for children to grasp. It also gives them a valuable sense of privacy and responsibility which parents ought to respect. And it must be remembered that children eventually have to make their sexual adjustments to the world in the neighborhood, the world they live in, not only within the parochial circle of the family.
Between the ages of 5 and 11 children need and want even more information than they did in the earlier years. But there is a major complication. By this time the child is much more aware of parental attitudes about sex, and far more conscious, through his peer group, of society’s attitudes toward it. Since most of these attitudes are threatening and forbidding, children have learned to cover up their activities.
Before they were five, they may have outraged or embarrassed their parents by masturbating in the living room, in full view of family or visitors. They learned not to do it, either by good or bad parental intervention, and now they masturbate in secret. In the interval, the parents’ attitude has changed, too. They thought their five-year-old didn’t know any better than to do it in the living room, but now that the child is seven or nine, they believe that their son or daughter does know better — not only about not performing in the living room, but (if they are parents with old-fashioned ideas about masturbation) they consider that a child of this age should not be doing it at all.
There is also the ambivalent attitude of the child’s peers at this stage. They are likely to ridicule publicly what they do in private; or conversely, they may indulge in sex play with each other that may be harmful if force or duress are involved. In this confusion of values, children may desperately need to understand that what they are doing in their bedrooms, or with another boy or girl, is not something to be condemned but is part of their growing up. They need to be protected from the ridicule of their peers and their private fears for themselves. With masturbation, for instance, they are in trouble only if they are discovered and have to face either the teasing or ridicule of peers, or the anger and punishment of parents. A parent should respect the privacy that will preserve them from both.
Sometimes the need for adult help rises out of much less obviously sexual situations. I remember a boy in our neighborhood who was overweight and nervous, easily carried away by emotions. He loved to play football in our yard with the other boys, and when he got excited he was likely to grab his penis. The other boys ridiculed him when they saw this, thereby adding to the burden he was already carrying because of his overweight, with all its implications. That boy needed protection badly. His father or mother, hearing about it, should have told him that there was nothing wrong about grabbing his penis, but that if he did it in a public place he faced the laughter of the other children and the disapproval of adults.
It might be argued that to deal with this problem on the basis of fear of what other people would say or do is psychologically wrong, but, done in the right way, it would simply be a lesson in reality. The boy should not have found it hard to understand that the real world is one in which some kinds of behavior have certain consequences. In any case, whatever risk might be involved in this approach would certainly be less than that of encouraging the boy to think of his penis as something shameful that must not be touched.
In this pre-teen period, boys will be touching penises in masturbation in any event, though probably not as much as they did in the earlier exploratory period, and not as much as they will when they are adolescent. Much of this masturbation is not carried out to orgasm. In Sexual Behavior in The Human Female, Kinsey reports that only 12 percent of females have masturbated to orgasm by age twelve, by comparison with 21 percent for boys. The dramatic difference between pre-teens and adolescence is shown by a jump to 20 percent among girls before age fifteen, and a much, greater increase among boys, to 82 percent.
In talking about sex to pre-teeners, whether or not the talk includes masturbation, parents will find it more effective to speak in general terms, to discuss sexual behavior in a broad sense, and let the children come to their own conclusions. For example, in the case of masturbation, it is true, as the research of Kinsey and others have shown, that children who have masturbated to orgasm when they are young are likely to have less trouble in achieving sexual satisfaction in marriage. A girl who never learned what an orgasm is before she marries may have more difficulty finding out than she would have in her pre-teens or teens. Nevertheless, it is obviously not the responsibility of parents to encourage their children to masturbate unless it may be turned into multiorgasmic learning, training and practice. Multiorgasmic skills are not that sort of a private activity that children may easily discover by themselves and for themselves. If any teaching is to be done, their inexperienced playmates would never do it pretty well.
I believe it is wise to try to talk to preteens about their multiorgasmic masturbation before they themselves bring up the subject. And after they discover it, and if, with some idea of what is happening to them, they have an orgasm and even multiorgasm and want to know more what this new sensation means, a parent can tell them more and put the whole thing in elaborated context, while talking about sex in particular and general terms.
Those who are going to masturbate before adolescence will do it, and some of them will achieve orgasm and even multiple orgasms in a row. The best parents can do is to give the child privacy, refrain from embarrassing him, and answer his questions when and if he asks them.
Sex education is often easy and natural at this age. A nine-year-old boy watching his mother diaper his little brother may see the infant’s tiny penis in erection and inquire, “What’s that?” He may ask this question even though he is familiar with his own erect penis, because he can bring up the subject safely where his brother is concerned without embarrassing himself. And the mother can answer his question easily and naturally, explaining that this is a part of growing and that when the penis is erect it feels good. As they get older, she might add, boys may make their penises get hard by touching them so it will feel good.
The nine-year-old already knows this from his own experience, and may have been puzzled, curious, or even felt guilty as a result, but this matter-of-fact explanation, which is not directed toward him, should remove his embarrassment, if he has any, and satisfy his curiosity. It may also lead him to further questions, perhaps about masturbation, using his brother rather than himself as a focus, and again the mother is in a good position to relieve both anxieties and curiosity and provide some helpful advices.
I realize that not all parents are going to find this an easy thing to do. Those, for example, who have not had a permissive attitude from the beginning but who have become better-informed as well as better-experienced and want to change may find it difficult to express themselves if they discover by a chance their son already with an erection or in the act of masturbation. In fact, they may not be able to bring themselves to say anything. But at least they can say to themselves, “I know that this is good and harmless, in spite of what I thought before, and I won’t speak or act as I would have in the past.” Latter they may find a proper time to share their knowledge and experience with their child and make his self-esteem better.
Rather than be concerned because their early adolescent boy is masturbating, parents would do better to be concerned if he isn’t. In my practice, I have found that if a male has not masturbated by the time he is fifteen or sixteen, there is some cause to worry about it. Clearly, since only a tiny percentage of boys are not masturbating at that age, something is holding him back — inhibition, guilt, fear — and quite possibly whatever it is may be affecting other areas of his life. The groundwork is being laid here for the adult male who perhaps will be impotent or, less seriously, will fear any kind of variation in sex and thus be an inadequate sexual partner; or he may become one of those men whose resistances end in a complex of antisexual feelings. As Dr. Robert C. Sorensen reports in his study Adolescent Sexuality in Contemporary America, “There seems to be no sex practice discussed in this study about which young people feel more defensive or private about than masturbation. Superstition is seldom a factor. Self-esteem, embarrassment, and personal disgust seem to be the major inhibiting factors.”
The problem is how to convey to boys of this adolescent that their parents are not troubled by their masturbation, not opposed to it or angered over it. If communication about sex has been established at an earlier age, of course, there will be less difficulty, since the child will understand that his parents are not going to make him feel guilty or fearful about it. Probably they have given him some positive feelings about it, so that he thinks it is more than just “all right” with them. He and they understand, even if it is not spelled out in so many words between them, that masturbation is a healthy aspect of normal living, and as a learning experience for adult heterosexual sex life may even be highly desirable.
But what if this kind of rapport has not been established before adolescence? In that far more common situation, the parent need not feel that he has to make up a great deal of lost ground in a hurry. Tell-tale spots on pajamas or sheets can simply be ignored, and if circumstances produce an unintentional confrontation, or at least a disclosure that the parents know about the child’s masturbation, the situation can be treated positively, in a way that implies no disapproval.
It is not easy to substitute books for conversation about masturbation with early adolescents — not that there is any dearth of material. Pamphlets, paperbacks, and hardcover publications dealing with masturbation in greater or less detail abound. But they are likely to be a curious combination of myth and fact. Nearly all dispel the old mythology — that masturbation causes physiological damage, or results in disease and sometimes insanity. Happily, these old wives’ tales, once assiduously spread by ignorant doctors and laity alike, belong to the past. But other aspects of the old mythology are preserved intact in some contemporary literature. It is still frequently said, for instance, that if children are kept busy with an active program of sports, exercise, and whatnot so that they have no idle moments, they will not masturbate. On the contrary, a child so healthy and active is probably a very frequent masturbator. It is also still said (by way of comfort, presumably) that parents should not worry about masturbation because children outgrow it. As we have seen, there is no truth in this idea either.
At best, most of these books damn masturbation with faint praise, rather than convey the idea that it is fun, worthwhile, and, from a long-range sexual-development point of view, desirable. Consequently, few of these books or pamphlets devote much attention, if any, to the highly important element of privacy in the early adolescent’s life, especially in respect to masturbation. If two brothers share a bedroom, wise parents understand if one of them stays in the bathroom for what seems an excessively long time, and they don’t try to hurry him. They understand, too, why it is important for him to have a room alone, if it is at all possible. Such parents also encourage the establishment of tree houses, cellar hideaways, and other nooks that encourage privacy, and into which the parents will not intrude unannounced.
For girls, the situation is different in some respects too because not as high a percentage of them is masturbating at pre-adolescence and early adolescence, and the percentage at any age is not as high as in males. In females, masturbatory peak comes long after adolescence and may peak again in later life. Nevertheless, there is a correlation between early masturbation in girls and their adult sex lives. Those who have a history of masturbation to orgasm in their teens are far more likely to achieve orgasm as adults in their heterosexual relationships. Women who have orgasm easily in marriage, no matter what other circumstances may exist in the relationship, are likely to have been early masturbators who achieved orgasm. Consequently, it should be a great relief to parents if their early teen-age daughter is masturbating to orgasm and much easier than most boys into multiorgasmic experience. However, parents probably won’t know it, because it is also much easier for girls to conceal the fact than for boys, and girls are even less likely to talk about it with parents unless communication has been established long before.
Even in their pre-teen period, boys are likely to talk freely about sex with their peers, but girls are much less apt to do so. Consequently, parents of girls have a greater responsibility to see to it that their daughters are informed, because the girls will be getting less information and develop an ignorance that often produces inhibitions that can lead to sexual problems in later life. This condition persists generally into early adolescence, and, indeed, adult women in general talk much less about sex in a specific way among themselves than men do. So it is up to the parents to see that their daughters are informed, either through their own efforts or by giving them access to printed information as they grow up.
A girl’s early questions about masturbation, if she asks them, should be answered fully and promptly. Girls do not learn about it as easily as boys, and some don’t even know of its existence. Like the boys, they will thrive on privacy and the spoken or unspoken positive attitude of parents.
Your parents may never have mentioned the word “masturbation” to you, but you’ll remember how, from your early childhood days, you learned to keep it secret from them. Long ago, too, you learned that it was something you could do in private. In our society, sexual behavior is done in private out of consideration for others. Whatever parents may think of masturbation, or even if you don’t know what they think, it’s something you do by yourself for your own enjoyment, privately and without any guilt feelings. And that’s the best policy. Every individual growing up has to learn what is acceptable as public behavior and what is acceptable only in private. That it is private, however, doesn’t mean it is inferior, or bad, or dirty. Masturbation in private is an acceptable, natural, and vital way of releasing sexual tension and sublimation of it, and an important part of growing up and development. Masturbating in private is a positively good, happy, and healthy experience, which boys and girls find useful in their later sex lives and something they’re going to do anyway. Doing it privately a boy or a girl is never afraid he or she will be discovered masturbating because the resulting fear, anxiety and guilt are not good mental states for the joy of masturbation. And they know that it should be encouraged because it helps young people grow up and enrich themselves sexually in a natural way and enjoy it as much as possible.
People have different ideas about sex, depending on what they were taught as children. Some people were told years ago that masturbating is wrong, and they still believe it.
If adults tell you it is bad to touch yourself, remember that this may have more to do with their feelings than with what is right or wrong for you. If you enjoy masturbating, there is no reason you should not do it.
