-- What will you have this evening?
-- I believe I will have your heart roasted on a spit.
1 pare of well seasoned and freshly tuned testicles
1/4 cup grape brandy
2 cups white wine
1 cup water
2 onions
1-2 peas of ground black pepper
Bay leaf
Caraway
Salt
2 teaspoons of vinegar
2 teaspoons of olive oil
A dash of thyme
A bit of parsley
Juice of a half a lemon
2 tsp. flour
2 tbsp. sour cream
2 tsp. breadcrumbs
Olive oil
4 tsp. butter
Herbs and spices to taste
Optional: honey
Optional: chocolate
Optional: mixed thyme, milfoil, red pepper powder, mint herb
Optional: tomato puree
Optional: fried chopped potatoes and sliced mushrooms
Optional: roasted chickpeas
Optional: boiled carrots
Optional: garlic
Optional: cider vinegar
Optional: sour cream
.........1. Rinse testicles under cold running water and season with salt and a little bit of pepper, and rub with marjoram. Make a man sit with his feet onto the table to masturbate. Beat this veal steak with hands -- just as with a rolling pin or steak mallet -- to flatten and swell it. Roll testicles into the steak and make them contract up.
.........2. Place grated onions, half of bay leaf and ground black pepper and caraway into a deep bowl. Stir. Add 2 teaspoons of vinegar, 2 teaspoons of olive oil, a dash of thyme and a bit of parsley. Stir. Add 1 cup white wine, 1/4 cap grape brandy, salt and water to taste. Stir.
.........3. Put the bowl below the testicles of the fully erected penis. Finely keep on multiorgasmic masturbating, from time to time shortly pour testicles into the bowl. Provide multiorgasmic tuning for 20-30 minutes or 1 hour.
.........4. Turn on an oven of the range, close the oven's door, on turned-off surface burners install a large and heavy copper or cast-iron pan or at least a backing tray or a dish. The larger pan the better meal. The start temperature on the pan shouldn't be more than 100°F (40°C). The range should be very safely and strong to keep the weight of the man and to let him easily slide out and escape from the pan at any moment. It takes about 15-20 minutes for the pan to be warmed enough. The air in the kitchen should be fresh and clean.
.........5. When the pan becomes hot, set up the oven from maximum temperature to the middle level of heat and then to the low one. It takes about 10-15 minutes after that to get the stable and easily regulated temperature of the pan.
.........6. While testicles multiorgasmically soften up a bit and ripen, take them out of the bowl, drain them, sprinkle with the juice of a half a lemon, pat them dry with a towel, water them and prepare the man for moving onto the pan.
.........7. Roll the testicles into the mix of herbs, then flour with very slightly added red ground seasoning pepper, then into sour cream, and finally into breadcrumbs.
.........8. Coat pan with the butter or olive oil. Make the man seat with his feet and buttocks onto the pan to masturbate while frying. Put a piece of cold butter under the rolled testicles. Add onto testicles finely chopped spring onion leaves.
.........9. Increase temperature a little and slowly. The temperature on the pan shouldn't be more than 110°F (45°C). If the pan become too hot, place a thick wooden circle between the pan and the man's buttocks. Increase temperature a little more, but totally the temperature of the pan shouldn't be more than 120°F (50°C). The man may turn from side to side as he is forced by the heat of the pan. So, the biggest pan let him fried well from all his sides.
.........10. The testicles shouldn't touch the pan all the time but very and very rarely and just straightaway. All the time they are only hanging over the frying pan and are located in air. Only feet and buttocks lean on the pan. From time to time slightly or firmly press the testicles to the pan or let them touch the pan by themselves for 1/2-1 second. Fry briefly by strokes forth to the pan and back while the penis is masturbated, periodically add on testicles and below them finely chopped onion, garlic, a little bit of black ground pepper and chili. While frying, keep adding below the testicles and on the pan the butter or olive oil. Cook while gradually sprinkling testicles with water. When nearly finished, sprinkle testicles with red wine.
.........11. When wine evaporates a bit, add on testicles mix seasoning (thyme, milfoil, a little bit of red pepper powder, mint herb) and a tablespoon of flour. Instead of red ground seasoning pepper you can use tomato puree.
.........12. Mix all well until wine completely evaporates and at the very end add honey and chocolate.
.........13. Totally fry for 12-15 minutes for the first time. Never fry more that 30-40 minutes.
.........14. Let the man rest for 30-40 minutes or 1-2 hours on a bad all the time keeping slightly fondle him. Don't leave his penis and testicles untouched and without masturbation. Then leave the man overnight in a cool bad for sleep.
.........15. Early in the morning the following day restart multiorgasmic masturbation of the man for 2-4 hours.
.........16. After that put the man with his buttocks, feet and balls onto the large pan, add cold water and masturbate to multiorgasmic milk.
.........17. During cold cooking keep taking semen foam off by churning dry and after that keep on multiorgasmic masturbation for about 10-20 minutes using saliva until the penis becomes completely clean, erected and dry.
.........18. Just before lunchtime, heat oil in a larger frying pan.
.........19. Add onion, garlic and crushed coriander. Turn off the gas, move the pan onto the cool ring and wait until the temperature of pan's surface is below 100°F (40°C).
.........20. Make the man seat with his feet, balls and buttocks onto this pan and masturbate him firmly and shortly rolling his testicles and penis with all sides on the pan.
.........21. Season with a very little bit ground black peppercorn, add enough water to cover just the bottoms of testicles and leave to masturbate for about 20-50 minutes or until it enough hardens up.
.........22. The fully erected man makes himself comfortable at his back on a dinner table and relaxes.
.........23. Arrange testicles as needed and serve them hot with fresh drill, parsley and a favorite sauce of your choice. Or arrange the testicles and penis, for example, with fried chopped potatoes and sliced mushrooms seasoned with the salt, garlic, cider vinegar, roasted chickpeas and boiled carrots on the baking dish. Or serve with mashed potatoes. Or even more simply, with chopped fresh tomato. When eaters are ready, add natural yoghurt from multiorgasmically seasoned penis onto its head or meal, the man shouldn't ejaculate or loose his strong erection. Consume juice separately or churned it dry or stir it into meal. You may cover the man and the vegetables with some amount of sour-cream.
.........24. The potatoes and salad are eating with dulled wooden spoons and folks as well as with hands and lips. No hurt or injury should be made to man's testis or penis. The testis and penis may be licked, sucked, and masturbated as needed. The man shouldn't be reduced to ejaculation. The man shouldn't be penetrated into anus, and he shouldn't ejaculate. He may be milked and churned without any limitations.
.........25. Serve the man with good home-made juice.
Chefs note: A wood-fired stove may serve for ball cookery art and pan installations very well too.
Chefs note: Bear in mind, the longer you fry the testicles, the firmer the penis should get.
Chefs note: Instead of frying fully erected and aroused man sitting on his buttocks just on oil or butter onto a plane large pan you may use a lot of vegetables as a layer between the man and the pan.
