Chapter III
<< How Some Men Have Learned It >>
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Sam was a bright ten-year-old exploring his own body when he first learned the pleasure of orgasm. Of course, he didn't ejaculate. He was too young for that. But over and over again he reached a peak of enjoyment such as he had never felt in any other form of play. And it was so easy! All he had to do was continue stimulating his penis after the first intense reaction, and another followed soon after.

When he was eleven and a half he had his first orgasmic ejaculation. It, like the peaks of sexual excitement he had reached before, was very exciting. But it changed things as well. Somehow, he had difficulty going on to the second or third "peak" as he had done before. He continued stimulation, as he had in the past, and did, at last, reach an orgasm. But it was not as satisfying as the second one had been in the past.

From then on, when he masturbated, he deliberately tried to avoid ejaculation the first time. It was not an easy task, but he persisted until, to his intense pleasure, he discovered that he could once more experience the high peaks to which he had become accustomed.
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Sam has been multi-orgasmic for twenty years. To him, it is natural. He was surprised, when he heard us speak, that other men did not share his talent. He can have a single orgasm, if he chooses, when he hasn't enough time to enjoy more. He finds this ability useful for those times when he and his partner have to leave for work or an appointment but wish to share sex before they separate for the day.

To emphasize the contrast between Sam and the conventional picture of a multi-orgasmic male, Sam at first had difficulty relaxing and enjoying himself fully with a partner because he was so aware of her desires and his wish to satisfy her. When he became more at ease during intercourse, he resumed his ability to be multi-orgasmic.

Is Sam unique? He does not appear to be. He is a normal male whose talent for multiple orgasms has been developed almost accidentally. He does, however, have a well-developed pubococcygeus muscle (which we'll shorten right now to "PC" muscle).

In both male and female, the pubococcygeus muscle, which is the master sphincter of the pelvis, extends from the pubic bone (os pubis) in front to the coccyx (tail bone) in the rear. It is associated not only with bowel and bladder function, but also with positive female vaginal perception and response during penile-vaginal intercourse. Since many women already orgasmic by clitoral stimulation desire to become orgasmic by penile-vaginal stimulation, the use and training of this and other muscles is one of the most significant individual techniques known to produce the therapeutic results desired.

In the male, this muscle is called the voluntary urinary sphincter muscle. However, we will continue to call it the PC muscle, for simplicity's sake.

Important Pelvic Muscles

The bulbocavernosus helps to control urination and assists during erections. This muscle encases the penile base. A second muscle also helpful in producing an erection is known as the ischiocavernosus. Also important are the transverse perineal muscles. Maintaining good pelvic health through exercise of these muscles aids greatly in obtaining and maintaining erections and assisting in multi-orgasmic function.

Sam has always played games with this muscle. As a boy, he used to lie in bed, raising and lowering his penis by tightening and relaxing that muscle. He didn't know its name (and probably wouldn't have been able to pronounce it if he had), but he used it often, enjoying the effects he achieved. He would hang a towel on his penis in the shower room before and after gym, much to the amusement of his friends, and he would make the towel move by tensing his PC muscle.

Our research has shown that a strong PC muscle is necessary if a man is to learn to control his ejaculations. So, unwittingly, Sam did the very thing to keep his multi-orgasmic talent strong. What is important to you, as a reader, is this: Muscles grow strong with exercise. If you want to enjoy multi-orgasms, start right now—while you're reading. Just tighten and relax that muscle between your legs. And then keep on reading.
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Ted learned to become multi-orgasmic much later in life. He is an M.D., well acquainted with the physical structure of the body and its functions. When he was thirty, having sex with his wife, he noticed what he felt to be an orgasm without any ejaculation or subsequent loss of erection.

An accident? Maybe he had misinterpreted what he experienced? He wasn't sure.

The next time he was with his wife, he paid more attention to his reactions, deliberately trying to duplicate that "freak" orgasmic sensation that he had felt before. It came while he was thrusting, as he tightened his PC muscle. Yes, the old PC again!

At first he could not be certain he would have what he described as a "dry orgasm." Sometimes it happened, sometimes it didn't. But as he persisted, his skill increased. Now, he and his wife continue lovemaking for an hour or more at a time, a practice common among newlyweds. He believes that his multi-orgasmic ability is responsible for keeping his sex life at a peak usually lost after the first year or so of marriage. We agree.


Sometimes It Comes as a Bonus

Dick became multi-orgasmic as a result of sex therapy. In the session in which we discuss the "nondemand pleasuring" technique, where two people who have been having trouble relating sexually are assigned the task of giving each other physical pleasure with only one taboo—their caressing must not lead to intercourse—Dick seemed reluctant to agree to the assignment. When we added one more aspect to the week's practice—that they use the "squeeze" technique so as to stop Dick from having an orgasm during this pleasuring—he could no longer contain himself.
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He informed us that no black man would ever allow his wife to have that much control over him. We hadn't heard this before, but we were not willing to abandon the assignment because of a personal bias. So we suggested that he could apply the pressure himself. We provided him with the directions, and advised him that he could work at contracting his PC muscle as he came close to orgasm, but that since his muscle was not strong, it might take him months to accomplish the control that could be given were he to permit his wife to apply the pressure for him.

What we didn't anticipate was his persistence and his good physical condition. He returned a week later to inform us that he was multi-orgasmic. With justifiable pride he told us that he was "into running," and that he covered from fifteen to twenty miles a day. He hadn't bothered to tell us this before.

He went on to explain that when he first tried to tighten his PC muscle, just before what is termed "ejaculatory inevitability," he discovered to his dismay that he simply hurried his orgasm along. He was annoyed—and embarrassed. But he was not the kind of man to quit after a first failure. He continued to work at it until he mastered the technique.

When he volunteered to be monitored in the laboratory, we accepted. He was right. He had, in one week, become multi-orgasmic. He gave us permission to film him so we could study his technique, and we found that he could control ejaculation either by using the squeeze method or by tightening his PC muscle.

Once, during the filming, he lost his erection without any indication of ejaculating. To discover what had happened, we took a sample of his urine and found that he had had a "retrograde ejaculation," where the ejaculate goes into the bladder instead of being expelled. On a previous occasion, another male who had had a similar experience had provided us with a urine specimen that showed the same results. We speculate that in some cases where there has been no apparent ejaculation and yet the penis loses its rigidity, this same retrograde ejaculation occurs.
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Thus, retrograde ejaculation occurs when the ejaculate goes back into the posterior urethra and on into the bladder, rather than into the anterior urethra and out through the meatus of the penis in the usual way. What's important to know is that there is no apparent harm to the body when a retrograde ejaculation takes place. All that happens is that if the ejaculation is complete the penis becomes flaccid, as it usually does after any "normal" ejaculation.

Two things to remember: When you begin to practice the exercises in Chapter Eight, you, too, might at some time have a retrograde ejaculation. Don't let it upset you. Just remember that this isn't your goal. You want to be able to stop ejaculation at will—not just to redirect it.

Another man who developed his multi-orgasmic ability during sex therapy was Tony, a fifty-three-year-old client who had decided that, since he suddenly found himself single again, he wanted to become a super lover so he would have no trouble satisfying the women he dated. He was, to say the least, well motivated.

During the second week, he worked with a surrogate*, who expected to assist him in mastering what we had taught during the first five sessions. Most clients need help in conquering inhibitions that block sexual relaxation. But not Tony. He had listened when we said that most men probably could be multi-orgasmic if they took the time to learn the skill, and, with his usual enthusiasm and drive, he decided to try for the top.
    *A surrogate is a professionally trained male or female provided by the therapist for an unmarried person who has no partner during the intensive phase of sex therapy.

Like all our clients, he had been put on a regimen of exercises to strengthen the PC and the pelvic muscles. When he began work with his surrogate, he simply decided to "go for" multiple orgasms—and succeeded. Even his surrogate, who had worked with other clients, was surprised at the extra pleasure she received because of his newfound ability.
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"I love it," she told us enthusiastically. "I've always had trouble with partners who didn't last long enough for me to have an orgasm. But with Tony I come and come. I have three or four orgasms—and so does he. I've never had this experience before." If a client in therapy can become that capable of satisfying an experienced woman, think how happy you can make your wife.


Even an Impotent Man Can Do It

When we met Tim and his wife, they were on vacation from a distant town. They had come to our clinic to be observed, since they had heard of our need for copulatory data on successful marriages, and felt theirs was close to ideal. Tim was seventy—and completely impotent.

What surprised us was how little his disability affected him or his wife. They shared a rich sex life, and informed us that they both were multi-orgasmic. At our suggestion, they consented to stay near the Center and return the next day for more extensive study. Tim explained that all this was quite exciting for two "old retired people."

The next day they consented to serve as research subjects during lovemaking. Our machines served to confirm their assertions. They were both multi-orgasmic, just as they claimed to be. But what was most interesting to us was their explanation of when all this had started—and the manner in which they reached satisfaction.
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Tim had developed diabetes when he was young, and even when they were first married he was totally impotent. He did not, however, allow his disability to destroy him. Instead, he was determined to enjoy and give enjoyment during sex, even if he had to confine himself to oral and manual stimulation. His wife agreed.

"He was uneasy about getting married at all, but I insisted," she said. "After all, I knew I could enjoy all kinds of sex, and I was sure that we could manage to have something special even if he never had an erection. And you can see that we do."

Tim's wife was so at ease during those first crucial nights that Tim soon relaxed. As his enjoyment of oral and manual sex increased, he began to have multi-orgasms. It was that simple. "It's foolish for people to think a man has to have an erection for a couple to have good sex," Tim's wife assured us. "We feel our sex life is great. We get together two or three times a week—and it's always as good as this."

For Tim the crucial ingredient was relaxation. What is also clear is this: A man does not even need to have an erection to experience multi-orgasms.


Can a Handicapped Man Do It?

When Tom came to us with his female partner, we were impressed by the extent of his disability. He had been born with a progressive birth defect. In high school, he had experienced increased difficulty climbing stairs. By the time he came to see us, he was twenty-two, a student at a local university, and totally confined to a wheelchair. He was easily fatigued, had trouble breathing, often had pneumonia, and had a tracheotomy in his throat, to which his respirator (which he usually used only at night) could be attached. He had a full-time live-in aid who cared for most of his physical needs.

Tom heard us give a lecture at his college, during which we spoke of the techniques that should be practiced by a man who wishes to become multi-orgasmic. He began to experiment, practicing the pelvic exercises until he felt certain that he had achieved his goal. He came to us for testing, hoping that our graphs would confirm what he felt sure had happened to him.
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He and his partner came in, let us "wire" them to our machines, and proceeded to make love. As he had predicted, they both had multiple orgasms. Yet he had to use his oxygen tank to keep from tiring.

To show us the difference in his success rate when he breathed on his own, he allowed us to detach the tank. Again, his prediction was confirmed. Without the oxygen, he tired too easily, and as a result ejaculated quickly.

His girlfriend was very happy with his newfound skill. "It's great," she insisted. "I could never have an orgasm before. But he goes longer now, and I have time to build to a climax without worrying about him. I sure am glad he went to that lecture."


An Active Partner Helps

One of our subjects, Sandy, was fifty-four when he came to us, sent by a mutual friend who knew we were interested in examining men who were multi-orgasmic. He submitted to our tests and proved to be capable of more than one orgasm at a time.

Sandy had not been alone when he first discovered his multi-orgasmic capabilities. "It was my partner who showed me that I could do it," he explained. "She wouldn't stop making love to me, even after I had an orgasm. And one day it just happened."

Like the others, he showed the typical pattern of multiorgasmic males, and his responses were documented by us.

We were not surprised to find other men who had had experiences like Sandy's. One, a fifty-eight-year-old man whom we will call Max, became multi-orgasmic when he began to share sex with a woman who refused to stop thrusting when he had an orgasm. Since she preferred the "female-superior" position, she was in control, even when he considered himself finished.
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This woman discovered that if she tightened her PC muscle after Max ejaculated, she could keep him erect for from fifteen to twenty minutes longer. The first time this happened. Max was uneasy, but he soon learned to relax and let her "do her thing."

What she did was exactly what we teach in our Center. Immediately after Max's orgasm, she squeezed with her PC muscle, holding still for about twenty seconds. This extended period of inactivity reduced the extreme sensitivity of Max's penis enough so she could move without hurting him.

Then she would begin to move slowly, gradually speeding up until she and Max both reached another peak. Often, they would have their orgasms together, and though they didn't particularly work for this, they claimed it was common. What we noted was that he had more than one orgasm —as did she—during the session they had in our observation room.

One other note; Max's orgasmic responses were always very intense. His body spasmed during orgasm, lifting his head five to six inches off the pillow, and his anus contracted strongly. These observable physical evidences of the success of his partner's procedure were in addition to the records made on our charts.


Do Drugs Help—or Hinder?

Illegal drugs cannot be used in the laboratory. Nevertheless, some of our subjects report that they have smoked marijuana (pot) before coming to the office for testing. Therefore, some of our records do show the effect of drugs on sexual performance. Also, some drugs were in the past legal, and during that time were available for our testing.

One of our subjects. Jay, confessed to us after almost a year as a research subject that when he was at home with a partner he used butyl nitrite to bring him up to a "high" where multiple orgasm could occur.
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Why did he wait for a full year before telling us about his "secret" technique? To begin with, he had never considered that his repeated sexual "highs" were true orgasms. Second, he was reluctant to speak of his use of butyl nitrite until he was certain that we would not put him down, not only because of his use of the drug, but because of the circumstances in which he resorted to it.

Jay was, we discovered, bisexual. What's more, he used butyl nitrite only when he was with a homosexual lover. "It gives me a terrific feeling—as if I'm having an orgasm. But I can go on and on, repeating the experience again and again."

We tested him under the influence of the butyl nitrite and recorded repeated orgasms. Here was an example of a man who was multi-orgasmic but who had to be told that was what was happening before he was willing to believe it. When he saw our graphs and recognized the similarity between his "high" experiences and his final orgasms with ejaculation he was surprised and pleased, admitting at last that he was actually multi-orgasmic. He had never identified his "dry orgasms" for what they were because, like so many men, he believed that orgasm and ejaculation were synonymous.

Since Jay was the only subject we have tested who used butyl nitrite, we can't say what effect it might have on other people. However, amyl nitrite and similar drugs have been reported as having an effect similar to that of butyl nitrite.

We have, however, a strong warning against the use of any such drugs to reach multiple orgasms. Amyl nitrite, for example, causes an instantaneous surge of blood, speeding up the heartbeat to a dangerous level. Several physicians whom we know who have in the past used such drugs during sex now no longer do so.
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Paul, a physician friend of ours, reported to us on the use of amyl nitrite. "I noticed that I'd get these terrific headaches afterward. It felt great while I was using it, and I had one orgasm after another, but I decided it was dangerous and not worth it. Now I find I can still go a long time and satisfy my partner."

Ziggy, another doctor friend, reported much the same thing. "I used to use it (amyl nitrite) all the time during lovemaking. But the last time, I got a headache afterward that wouldn't go away. It scared me, and now I won't go near the stuff. My health is too important to me."

Ziggy reports that he still has great sex, and can last for a long time. He worries, sometimes, that he might have done himself permanent damage, even though he no longer has headaches and he's stayed away from the drug for a couple of years. However, he, like Jay, is bisexual, and he occasionally finds himself with a homosexual partner who uses a drug, which stirs up his worries about his own health.

All in all, we have concluded that drugs, though sometimes providing a shortcut to multi-orgasms, are not necessary and are often dangerous. A man who wishes to become multi-orgasmic can do so if he practices the exercises we describe, and if he is determined to reach his goal.


Nationality and Multiple Orgasm

Our multi-orgasmic subjects came from other countries and different cultural groups. Is that important?

We think it is. Some sexual techniques seem tied to cultural conditioning, but multi-orgasmic response is not. Possibly this is because it is a learned skill, usually mastered early in life during masturbation. For some men, the skill is easily transferred to intercourse. Others seem unable to relax enough to reach multi-orgasm with a partner but still do so when they masturbate. But the transfer can be made, just as the skill can be learned, no matter what ethnic background a man may have.

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